Conference call nikaah

Q: I did a nikah with my cousin without telling my parents. I was a very young teenager. There were a couple of  friends and him with me on the conference call. He recorded the call as proof. Other than this, there is no legal document or signature. None of our walies were present and neither did they know. Now, both parties know, but I don’t want to keep up this relationship. I haven’t spoken to him for 3 years now and want to end this relationship because I like someone else. I started to hate my parents when I was in relationship to my cousin. I actually went in along with another relationship, doubting the validity of the cousin nikah relationship. I want to marry this new guy because he has made me feel more secure and never talks ill of my parents, whereas the cousin continuously bombards my dad with emails that he wouldn’t leave me and trash talks about me just to make my parents fall for his demand which made me cry. The new guy is my age but very sensible, prays 5 times a day and has always encouraged me towards my parents whereas my cousin is the exact opposite. The truth is that he would ho out of his way to love me, but just let things go wrong, or even me not ‘obeying’ him, (in the past experience) I would be afraid of what plans he has in store to jeopardise my dignity and value just for things to go his way – out of fear obedience. Please help me. Is this nikaah valid and how can I approach my parents with a proposal towards this new guy because they probably would think I am making the same mistake twice but I am 20 now and not a 16 year old girl anymore who wasn’t clear about her wants. The new guy knows every thing about this nikah and wants to accept me regardless of the nikah. Please tell me the validity of such a nikaah and how to approach my parents. My parents were so worried and were suggesting me to go back home and try to live with the cousin and see if I like it and then terminate the relationship later because they fear the cousin might not listen and they don’t want their self respect to be marred through his childish demands. I don’t want to try and live there cause I know it will be a whole new story then. Right now, I am with my parents. Later, I will be a representative of the cousin, his mom dad siblings and his whole household. I don’t want to harm their family repute as well as mine. I love his family because they are my relatives and hold no grudges against them. I don’t want to maintain any physical relationship (which will be inevitable if I go to him) I have feelings for another man who admires my father so much and is a keen learner of deen and respects me. I am afraid to approach my parents cause they would cast him as another mistake of mine and scold me because apparently they for some reason think that maybe I should submit myself to them – but liking someone and offering a choice is not bad. Its not like I have killed feelings to even think again about maybe choosing my spouse – with all due respect with the agreement of my parents. Please answer my concern. I am waiting anxiously.

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A: In order for the nikaah to be valid, it is a requirement that a proposal as well as an acceptance be found in the same gathering in the presence of at least two male baaligh sane muslims or one male and two female baaligh sane muslims. If your cousin proposed on the phone and you had accepted the proposal, then the nikaah would not be valid due to the above mentioned condition not being found.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.

قال ولا ينعقد نكاح المسلمين إلا بحضور شاهدين حرين عاقلين بالغين مسلمين رجلين أو رجل وامرأتين عدولا كانوا أو غير عدول أو محدودين في القذف قال رضي الله عنه اعلم أن الشهادة شرط في باب النكاح لقوله عليه الصلاة والسلام لا نكاح إلا بشهود (هداية 2/306)

Answered by:

Mufti Zakaria Makada

Checked & Approved:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)


Q: I mentioned the situation but I think you must have missed the part where I said there were 2 of his male friends along with the nikah reciter on the comference call. How is this nikah valid? Without both of our wali and their consent?

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A: In order for the nikaah to be valid, it is a requirement that a proposal as well as an acceptance be found in the same gathering in the presence of at least two male baaligh sane muslims or one male and two female baaligh sane muslims. If your cousin proposed on the phone and you had accepted the proposal, then the nikaah would not be valid due to the above mentioned condition not being found (i.e. the boy, the girl and the witness being in the same place).

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.

قال ولا ينعقد نكاح المسلمين إلا بحضور شاهدين حرين عاقلين بالغين مسلمين رجلين أو رجل وامرأتين عدولا كانوا أو غير عدول أو محدودين في القذف قال رضي الله عنه اعلم أن الشهادة شرط في باب النكاح لقوله عليه الصلاة والسلام لا نكاح إلا بشهود (هداية 2/306)

 

Answered by:

Mufti Zakaria Makada

Checked & Approved:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)


Q: You described that the boy, girl and witness should all be in the same gathering. Some relatives of mine had their nikaah on skype where they were seeing each other, both had their set of walies and their set of witnesses – all good to go, so how is this nikaah any different than doing it over the phone (yes, we did it on the phone with 2 male baligh guys without the wali and their consent) but in both cases, the boy, girl and the separate set of witnesses weren’t in the same gathering – if you mean to say to be ‘physically’  in the same gathering. Or is the skype nikah valid due to the presence of other factors such as wali and witness and their respective places? Please explain.

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A: If the nikaah was performed on skype in the same manner as the nikaah was performed on telephone (i.e. the boy proposed from another place and the girl accepted from another place) and there were separate witness at both places, the nikaah will not be valid. However if the nikaah was prearranged on telephone or skype e.g. the girl gave permission to the boy to perform her nikaah and the boy performed the nikaah in the presence of two witnesses or more the nikaah will be valid. 

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.

 

Answered by:

Mufti Zakaria Makada

Checked & Approved:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)