Speaking freely and being casual with one’s sister in-law
Q: I was like kind of attracted to my sister in-law. About a year back my wife and I where having an argument. She was telling me that she does not like me talking to her sister and that I’m always talking to her sister etc. I always like had the thought that the rule regarding where a man touches his mother in-law with lust nikah breaks may also apply to the sister in law also. I also had doubts as to whether the rule may apply to the sister in law. I was not completely sure. Anyway, during that argument I told my wife “you know if I even touch …. (my wifes sister) nikah breaks” with no intention of any taalaq at all. I wasn’t suspending or issuing a talaaq I wasn’t even thinking about taalaq. I just told her that for it to seem as though that is the Islamic ruling. I just guessed/made up/lied for it to seem that that is the Islamic ruling and for her not to worry and to give assurance. I had absolutely no intention of any talaaq. The only intention I may have had was not to touch my sister in law because its a sin. After couple of months I touched my sister in-law with lust then after a few months I may have touched her with lust again. I was told by various Muftis that no talaaq or suspended talaaq takes place.
1. After getting these fatwas I have started to get strong waswasas that I had intention. I get thoughts like “think properly about your intention” “this happened so long ago how can you be so sure you had no intention”. All this while I was certain that I had no intention at all, I was 100% sure. Now this waswasa is making me have doubts which is really affecting me. I was told to ignore waswasa. What I’m trying to say is that all this while I was certain I had no intention only after getting fatwas from muftis that I am safe then these thoughts came up.
2. Another thought that came to my mind was supposing the statement I made was “you know if I even touch her our nikah breaks” and not “you know if I even touch her nikaah breaks”. With no intention (same situation as above in the 1st paragraph) I asked this question to another two muftis and they both told me the ruling is still the same. No talaq.
3. Once a long time ago after getting fatwas from muftis, my sister in law sat next to me and I was so tempted to touch her and I knew that waswasa was going to start and I said in my mind only, not verbal something like “now its three talaqs and shaytaan must stop worrying me” and allowed my body to touch against hers? Am I safe? Can that be talaaq? Regardless of the intention talaaq has to be be verbal or written for it to be valid am I correct? Am I safe? Is there any talaq in these situation? I humbly await your reply.
I make dua to Allah that he forgives me for the sin of touching my sister in-law with lust.
A: Speaking freely and being casual with your sister in law is totally impermissible. You should observe purdah from her. However talaaq has not taken place.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
عن عقبة بن عامر : أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه و سلم قال إياكم والدخول على النساء فقال رجل من الأنصار يا رسول الله ! أفرأيت الحمو ؟ قال الحمو الموت (ترمذي 1/220)
عن علي أنه كان عند النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال: “أي شيء خير للمرأة؟ فسكتوا، قال: فلما رجعت قلت: لفاطمة: أي شيء خير للنساء؟ قالت لا يرين الرجال ولا يرونهن، فذكرت ذلك للنبي صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال: إنما فاطمة بضعة مني (البزار ، وأبو نعيم فى الحلية وضعف) (كنز العمال 46012)
عن ابن عمر قال : خطبنا عمر بالجابية فقال يا أيها الناس إني قمت فيكم كمقام رسول الله صلى الله عليه و سلم فينا فقال أوصيكم بأصحابي ثم الذين يلونهم ثم الذين يلونهم ثم يفشوا الكذب حتى يحلف الرجل ولا يستحلف ويشهد الشاهد ولا يستشهد ألا لا يخلون رجل بامرأة إلا كان ثالثهما الشيطان عليكم بالجماعة وإياكم والفرقة فإن الشيطان مع الواحد وهو من الاثنين أبعد من أراد بحبوحة الجنة فيلزم الجماعة من سرته حسنته وساءته سيئته فذلك المؤمن. (ترمذي 2/39)
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