Husband saying “Go and stay with your parents forever”

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by Muftionline.co.za

Q: We have a situation where the father of the girl, is a Mufti. The father wanted the husband to sign a contract stating that he will guarantee that the wife/daughter will be brought back to her home/home-town on demand any time or at least once in every six months. The husband says that this new demand for a contract has no Shari basis as they have been in Nikah for a few years, and the contract of Nikah is sufficient.

Three days later, the father issues this written ruling/fatwa stating the nikah needs to be re-made. The additional contractual stipulations can then be placed as pre-conditions of the new Nikah. Now I am being accused of ‘doctoring ‘ the question for my preferred answer. Every Mufti consulted so far has agreed, that for Talaaq Baain, the husbands intention is the main deciding factor. Considering that the husband states that he never had any intention of Talaaq whatsoever, please give the Shari ruling on the validity of both the fatwa copied here below, as well as the validity of the Nikah. Additionally, the husband also rejects that it was a majlis of matrimonial discord, instead, he says that his wife’s sister, who is married to an Arab man was badgering him, so he responded to her whilst in the presence of his wife and her mother. He does agree that he said in anger and in response to the wife’s sisters comments, “If thats the case , i’ll take my daughter Mahdiyya and go, and you can find an Arab man to get married to and stay with your parents forever’

Afzal says the context of the statement was on Tuesday night when he found Aamina and Maryam speaking, Maryam said Aamina advised her that Arab men are far better, so Afzal responded, there was no intention of talaq. It was a statement made in anger for what Aamina and Maryam were saying about Arab men being better to marry. He had absolutely no intention of talaq. After this whole conversation on Tuesday night, Maryam and Afzal slept together in the same bed that night.

  1. Please, we request a urgent response based on the written fatwa.
  2. We request a Shari Ruling on the validity of the fatwa, considering the husband states that no intention of Talaaq existed.
  3. We request a Shari ruling on the validity of the Nikah.
  4. We Request a Shari ruling on the wife listening to her mothers demands to disobey the husband and prohibiting her from returning to her marital home, which was the actual catalyst of the entire problem.
  5. We request a Shari ruling on the wife remaining in her parents home against the wishes of her husband.

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A: 

  1. Since the husband had no intention to divorce, this statement does not construe a divorce. Allamah Shaami quotes from Al-Jaamius Sagheer and Az-Zakheerah that these words have a dual meaning. It encompasses the meaning of divorce as well as rebuking and insulting. Hence, the divorce will be subject to the intention of the husband. (Refer to Arabic text below.)
  2. The husband has every right to call his wife back. It is not right for the mother to prevent her in any way from returning to the marital home.

و في الدر المختار 2 / 298:

فالحالات ثلاث رضا وغضب ومذاكرة والكنايات ثلاث ما يحتمل الرد أو ما يصلح للسب أو لا ولا ( فنحو اخرجي واذهبي وقومي ) تقنعي تخمري استتري انتقلي انطلقي اغربي اعزبي من الغربة أو من العزوبة ( يحتمل ردا ونحو خلية برية حرام . . . ففي حالة الرضا ) أي غير الغضب والمذاكرة ( تتوقف الأقسام ) الثلاثة تأثيرا ( على نية ) للاحتمال والقول له  ( وفي الغضب ) توقف ( الأولان ) إن نوى وقع وإلا لا ( وفي مذاكرة الطلاق ) يتوقف ( الأول فقط ) ويقع بالأخيرين وإن لم ينو

و في حاشية رد المحتار:

قوله : ( فنحو اخرجي واذهبي وقومي ) أي من هذا المكان لينقطع الشر فيكون ردا أو لأنه طلقها فيكون جوابا رحمتي ولو قال فبيعي الثوب لا يقع وإن نوى عند أبي يوسف لأن معناه عرفا لأجل البيع فكان صريحه خلاف المنوي ووافقه زفر نهر ولو قال اذهبي فتزوجي بالفاء أو الواو فسيأتي الكلام عليه في الفروع

2 / 314:

قوله : ( تقع واحدة بلا نية ) لأن تزوجي قرينة فإن نوى الثلاث فثلاث بزازية ويخالفه ما في شرح الجامع الصغير لقاضيخان ولو قال اذهبي فتزوجي وقال لم أنو الطلاق لا يقع شيء لأن معناه أن أمكنك اه إلا أن يفرق بين الواو والفاء وهو بعيد هنا بحر على أن تزوجي كناية مثل اذهبي فيحتاج إلى النية فمن أين صار قرينة على إرادة الطلاق باذهبي مع أنه مذكور بعده والقرينة لا بد أن تتقدم كما يعلم مما مر في اعتدى ثلاثا فالأوجه ما في شرح الجامع ولا فرق بين الواو والفاء ويؤيده ما في الذخيرة اذهبي وتزوجي لا يقع إلا بالنية وإن نوى فهي واحدة بائنة وإن نوى الثلاث فثلاث

Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

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