Fear of getting married

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by

Q: My parents want me to get married but I don’t want to. I am 22 years old and in all these years I saw horrible fights and extra marital affairs surreal stuff like that and they always blame me for their unsuccessful marriage. I am not mentally stable. I get suicidal at times such that I can’t control. If I get married, how can I take care of my children when I can’t control myself?

Whenever the topic of marriage comes, it’s killing me when I think about all those years of fights. I can’t take any sort of torture. I am unable to convince my parents. I instead end up yelling at them which I don’t want to. I do read Quran but as soon as something regarding marriage comes up, I get those attacks again. I don’t know what to do. How can I get over this situation.


A: Don’t pay attention to these thoughts. It does not mean that if it happens to one person then it will happen to the whole world. Most people, in fact nearly all marry. It is just a few who have these types of unpleasant experiences.

Make a point of reciting the Qur’aan Shareef and making zikr at home. Daily read out some portion from the Fazaa’il-e-A`maal. The recitation of the Qur’aan and noble ahaadeeth of Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) will bring about enormous barkat in your home.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

This answer was collected from, where the questions have been answered by Mufti Zakaria Makada (Hafizahullah), who is currently a senior lecturer in the science of Hadith and Fiqh at Madrasah Ta’leemuddeen, Isipingo Beach, South Africa.

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