Q: I have this issue which happened last year, but it has been playing in my head ever since.
Whilst my wife was fighting with me and moaning about my mum and sisters, she was upstairs saying this and I was on the sofa downstairs. She kept going on about them and in my head thoughts came up to say ‘that’s it I can’t take this anymore I want a divorce’. This was in my thoughts and was not spoken out loud at this point. Then straight after this thought she stopped for a few seconds and then started saying stuff again and I then immediately got up and said ‘that’s it’ so quick without thinking but I don’t know if my intention was divorce or to say I am fed up with you moaning.
After a little 5 second break of me saying ‘that’s it’ I said I’m going to speak to my mum and dad, and they can speak to your mum and dad’ I may have been referring to divorce or about her moaning I really can’t remember.
Since then my head has been playing this scenario back to back trying to find out what my real intention was when I said the words above, I really can’t remember now as it happened last year.
I would say 90-95 percent may have been with intention of divorce but there is a doubt of 5 to 10 percent that I did not and was just fed up of her moaning all the time as it happened so quick. I also get waswasa where the words divorce are most of the time just in my head even when I try to ignore them and I could be having a normal conversation with my wife and the words would just been in my head whilst speaking during a normal conversation as well as fighting.
Please can you confirm the status of my marriage and if I am needed to do my nikah again and if I do. Do I give dowry again and how many witnesses do I need?
A: No divorce has taken place.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Answered by:
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)