Q: Please can you urgently help me with my problem.
I made nikaah as a second wife. We had constant arguments about him being unfair regarding promises on time spent with me. A month later we had a meeting with my father which resulted in a heated argument between my father and my husband, my father left. My husband was so angry, he uttered 3 consecutive talaaqs (uttered the word 3 times). I sat for iddat (it was during my menses). After a month of observing iddat my husband contacted me, and being past the anger, we had an intimate telephone conversation with each other and promised he would change. He said that he had spoken to a learned person and he had proof that only 1 talaaq had fallen:
• If talaaq was given in anger and without pre-meditation and because we had an intimate conversation whilst I was observing my iddat, then all 3 talaaq did not fall.
• He also mentioned that he had sinned because he had given me talaaq during my menses.
I was still not sure that my talaaq was given and continued my iddat. When I completed my iddat and he came to me and showed me the ayats whereby I could remarry somebody else and then that person could divorce me and I did not have to consummate that nikaah, so that he (my husband) could remarry me. All I needed to do was to return the mahr to this person and then he would be divorced from me. This all happened in the same day with the 3 of us being present. I have the 2nd marriage certificate, with my first husband as my witness. Thereafter my husband and I remarried for a 2nd time on.
We rented a place and my husband lived with me from time to time. He decided that I should go live back with my parents. I had a baby in that time. One day we got into an argument and he sent me ansms with talaaq word. I took this to an alimah who confirmed that talaaq had fallen. I observed iddat again. He came back to me after the iddat and said that the talaaq wasn’t valid as he did not say the actual talaaq word. We continued living as husband and wife. The reason why I believed and trusted my husband every time is because he is very Islamically inclined and a hafiz.
What is worrying me is based on the manner in which my husband presented my talaaq (3 at once) and the process we followed in terms of the 2nd nikaah, I need to know where I stand. It’s been worrying me for some time now and when he comes home I am not at ease as I feel I am committing zinna and I just want him to stay away from me. Please help me I can’t live with this guilt I don’t know what is the right thing in Allah’s eyes. Am I still married or is the (3) talaaq valid?
A: Since you did not consummate the marriage with the second husband, your second marriage to your first husband is not valid. Hence, it turns out that you are living in sin and you must separate from him immediately.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)