Q: I hope that you are able to give me some advice in regards to some issues I am having.
I recently had my nikkah in November 2017 and my wedding is due in April 2018. Me and my husband have been spending time together and before marriage he was lovely and caring but I knew he had a slight temper issue but he hardly displayed it to me. Recently he has been getting angry over every little thing, when I ask him to visit me as I miss him he gets frustrated because he has no time and no money to take me out but all I ask is just for him to spend a day or even an hour at my house.
Another situation that has escalated the last few days was that my brother in law as a (joke) slapped me on my face and pushed me in front of 4 other non mahrams and I shouted at him saying that wasnt appropriate and he felt offended by that. I told my husband what happened and he was very angry and told me not to say anything further. I later realised that my sister and my brother in law and a few other family members were talking ill of me because I had shouted at him. I told my husband this and that angered him but he was almost putting the blame on me but not directly. I seeked guidance in Allah and I found that I wanted to apologise to my sister and her husband for shouting at him out of goodwill. When I told my husband that was what I wanted to do he was completely against me and started swearing at my entire family to me. I was very upset but didnt respond back to anything he was saying and waited till the next day so that he was calmer. We spoke and I addressed the issue and said I didnt like that he was swearing towards my family and he said he didnt care and that my family have caused him enough stress which is why he has a right to say all that about them. I tried to reason with him but he just kept saying he needs a break from me and doesnt want to talk to me and he is unhappy with me.
Im devastated that my husband doesnt understand me, this is not the first time he has had a (break) from me… please tell me what I should do as I feel helpless.
A: It is best that both of you seek counsel from some experienced righteous person who is agreeable to both.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)