IslamQA

Marital problems

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by Muftionline.co.za

Q: I asked my husband in our prospective meeting if we were going to live separately and he replied in the affirmative. At the time of Nikaah he told me we’ll have to live together for 2 years so I can save. I reluctantly agreed. However in the first few months when problems started arising I asked him to move out and he kept assuring me that we will soon move out and things will get better.

Today it’s over 3 years and we still haven’t moved out. I cannot adjust to my mother in laws lifestyle at all. There’s no timetable and she does everything at her own time and according to her comfortability. Also my Sister in laws keep coming many times during the week, on weekends and holidays. I don’t seem to have my own space too. I’m entitled to one en suite bathroom and the room barely has any space. My son doesn’t sleep in a cot as there’s isn’t enough room for one. He therefore sleeps with us in the bed. I’m having severe backache because I’m less mobile the whole night due to the tight space. Many a times my husband has to go to sleep in another room because of my back pain.

Last year when I asked him to move out he asked me to live together for two more years to which I clearly declined. (I don’t know if I’m sinful about this) But now I feel I just can’t cope with all this. My son is nearly two and he’s still sleeping with me. I feel really frustrated and at times feel like terminating my marriage because I feel nothing is being done in support for me.

There’s many issues too which I feel will get better if we move out. I’ve never been settled from day one and I feel I need to settle down for the betterment of our marriage. The fact that he keeps reassuring me that we’re moving out and nothing is getting done physically really frustrates me and this causes me to have frequent arguments with him.

Bismillaah

A: I suggest that you take a temporary holiday at your parents’ residence until you feel healthier.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.

 

Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

This answer was collected from MuftiOnline.co.za, where the questions have been answered by Mufti Zakaria Makada (Hafizahullah), who is currently a senior lecturer in the science of Hadith and Fiqh at Madrasah Ta’leemuddeen, Isipingo Beach, South Africa.

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