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Dealing with a Difficult First Wife in a Polygamous Marriage

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Muftionline.co.za

Q: I have two wives. I want to be just between them as much as I can. But my first wife in hindering it by getting annoying. Time and again giving me reference of Nabi (sallallahu alaihi wasallam)’s reaction of finding out the intention of Hazrat Ali to marry second time. Giving me reference again and again that you cannot be just between two wives. Asking me questions again and again why I married second time. Bringing the topic of second wife again and again. Asking me the same questions again and again for which i have answered. When i decline to answer and choose to keep quiet, so matters dont get out of hand, she does not tolerate that. The last incident again, i came home late from work tired. and after an hour or so. she said i want to ask a question, which i immediately sensed will lead to argument, so i said, if the question is baseless then should not ask. then she started giving arguments to which i chose to remain quiet and the end she said, you attitude with me makes me doubt you. At that i went to the other room and slept. I am trying my best to be fair as i can. But she infuriates me time and again, intentionally or unintentionally i do not know. What can I do to solve this.

Bismillaah

A: When she starts of this type of a discussion tell her that you will jointly go to some pious righteous person so that he will be in a better position to answer all questions.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.

Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

This answer was collected from MuftiOnline.co.za, where the questions have been answered by Mufti Zakaria Makada (Hafizahullah), who is currently a senior lecturer in the science of Hadith and Fiqh at Madrasah Ta’leemuddeen, Isipingo Beach, South Africa.

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