Communicating with the boy before nikaah

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by

Q: I am in a very discomforting situation in my life. I don’t know who to ask but I think Allah SWT guided me to you. In my family, only my mum does Shariah Pardha. In my Dad’s side of the family, it is a norm to get married in the family as well as to talk to your cousins.

A while ago I communicated with my male cousins but I realised it is wrong. Therefore when I went back home I only spoke to them if there was a dire need. I don’t do Shariah Pardha at the moment but I hope to do so.

Anyhow, I got engaged to my uncle’s son whom attends jamaats etc. He tried to communicate but I ignored the messages. Later he spoke to my female cousins, therefore I responded and explained that I don’t find it appropriate talking to you. But he doesn’t understand.

My parents think it’s okay for me to talk to him if I talk within limits. However, I don’t want to talk to him and I have explained a couple of times, however he does not understand. I don’t know what I should do.


A: If they feel that it is permissible within the limit then the limit is marriage. Ask them to get you married to him and then you can communicate easily and freely.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

This answer was collected from, where the questions have been answered by Mufti Zakaria Makada (Hafizahullah), who is currently a senior lecturer in the science of Hadith and Fiqh at Madrasah Ta’leemuddeen, Isipingo Beach, South Africa.

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