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My Struggle with Infidelity in Marriage: A Doctor’s Story

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Muftionline.co.za

Q: I am a doctor by profession and the only son of my parents. Currently I am working abroad. I am married and I have one son also. After my marriage ,once I saw one tablet called “VIAGRA” that is used for prolonged sexual desire in a book of my wife who is also my first cousin. I inquired from her and informed my parents and her parents and they just told me that “some of her class mates must have put this tablet in her book”. I am a doctor myself but because of my parents I ignored it. She was going to college even after marriage. In those days I was working 350 km away from my hometown and was going there 2-3 days in a week and 3 days I was at home. One day I received a call from some unknown person. He said to me “your wife is coming to college in the college van but she is not going to college. Please brother take care”. I went to her collage and inquired from the principal whether my wife was present in college in the last few days. He confirmed that “she was absent for the last 7 days”. I informed my parents as well as her parents but they told me not to tell anyone otherwise it will be a stigma for our family etc. Anyhow I compromized again. After that incident, one night she ran away from my home and I caught her mobile phone with all the private chats with some fellow. The next morning she came to her parents home and demanded her mobile phone to contact her boyfriend. Even then, because of insistance of my mother, I lived with her. Allah gave me a beautiful son, Alhamdolilah. The same year I got a visa for Maldives and I am working here. I kept my wife in Maldives while she was pregnant as my mother was insisting to keep her along with me even though I was not interested because of all these things.

In short, my kid and my wife were living with me here in Maldives and I forgot all the previous things. But again I caught her with a Christian fellow who is a teacher and living near my quarters. I got all the proofs also that they were having sexual relationship with each other from their chat. He wrote “do u remember that night u were creating sounds and we did sex in different positions etc”. After this incident, I sent her safely to Pakistan and did’nt talk to her nor kept any kind of relationship with her even though she was living in my home. When I went for vacation for 14 days, I was sleeping in another room. Again my parents are insisting that live with the girl but I dont want to.

One more thing “She never ever accepted her mistake even after getting caught by me”.

Secondly, alhamdolilah I didn’t commit any zina or kept any sort of relationship with any other female. From her chats I’ve come to know that because of her family she is living with me otherwise she doesn’t want to live with me. What reply should I give my parents. If I say that I don’t want to live with her, they will not feel good. What should I do? 

Bismillaah

A: If you have sufficient evidence to prove that she is involved in illicit activities then you have the right to separate her. In fact it is better for you to separate her for it does not seem that she wants to lead a pure and clean life. This will not be counted as disobedience to your parents.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.

Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

This answer was collected from MuftiOnline.co.za, where the questions have been answered by Mufti Zakaria Makada (Hafizahullah), who is currently a senior lecturer in the science of Hadith and Fiqh at Madrasah Ta’leemuddeen, Isipingo Beach, South Africa.

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