Q: I need your advice to how to continue my life further. I am the father of two children, the elder is 5 and younger is 4 and am married since 2011 (6 years) and currently, we are living abroad in UAE as an expat together.
Two weeks before me and my wife had a misunderstanding which led to a fight between us, we haven’t talked for 4 days, and even I haven’t had any food with her and after clearing the misunderstanding then we again had good days, unfortunately I have seen some chats on her mobile which lead to doubt her. Then I came to know she has been calling, chatting and even video calling her lover from her home town in India. When I asked her about this she initially didn’t agree, then I started checking all her emails, facebook, mobile, Whatsapp, chat history etc. I came to know they were having a relationship even before our marriage and they had gone together to many places in his car any had done kisses and been in a relationship. She already confessed to me that they were having a relationship and they were calling and chatting with me and my children sleep, whenever I am not at home during my work and even during her vacation in my absence.
The last conversation of my wife was calling him to come to our home at UAE while he is coming to UAE in this month from India knowing that I am going to work for few days abroad, which really put me in a depression. I never doubted my wife in my whole life that she will do such things to me. I need to say that I was not a perfect person before my marriage, I consumed alcohol (few times) and I’ve been in another relationship with a lady (only for few months) but after my marriage, I was a perfect husband and a perfect father to my children in our married life.
I reiterate that I never been in a wrong since I was very truthful, caring and doing all the things to fulfill my needs of my family. Now I don’t know what I have to do; she is saying that she won’t continue the relationship and won’t repeat it again. But I don’t know whether I can trust her again since she broke my trust.
Moreover, I don’t want to lose my children since they are everything to me and even I am living for them. Please give a best solution/answer following the sharia law though I can follow.
A: Ask her to write a letter to the previous lover telling him strictly that she is terminating all types of relationships with him and he should not take the trouble of talking to her and that this type of behaviour is disgusting and shameful. Keep a watch on all the calls and chats that she makes.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Answered by:
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)