Q: I am a new converted Muslim and I converted during the month of Ramadan. My question is that before I became a Muslim I have committed zina with a boy more than once but at that time the only thing that my parents told me was don’t have sex before marriage. Nobody told me that it was a sin. So of course I didn’t repent and this was about the summer of 2014. Then I ended up moving away and came to a new state and I haven’t committed zina ever since and that lasted for a year.
So then I met this boy and still didn’t know again it was a major sin so we did it a couple of times and I didn’t repent. But the thing is that every time he would ask I would be hesitant and something would tell me not to do it and I didn’t.
Time goes and I stopped and this was for about a good few months maybe 4-8 months then I met someone new and it happened once. After that I completely stopped for a year or a year and a half. I ended up moving again and met this boy and we ended up doing it a few times. Then the month of Ramadan was approaching. So I took my shahadda and became a Muslim. I was a practising Muslim but I never really knew everything about Islam (i.e. didn’t know zina was an act that Allah did not like). During Ramadan I was fasting and I read that you should stay away from sexual things during Ramadan. So I was like ok and told the boy no sexual stuff. It was one day and we ended up doing something but not sex. After that he ended up not talking to me again. So I completely gave up sexual acts all together and cut out boys. I continued praying and I asked Allah to help get rid of this pain that I was feeling and Masha Allah it was like my du’a was answered immediately. Because if I hadn’t prayed it would’ve took longer to get over him.
My question is that I know now that zina is a major sin and it is forbidden and I don’t commit it anymore let alone anything sexual and I started repenting about it every time. I prayed and repented about my past and sometimes I would cry and break down. I don’t associate partners with Allah and I try to do go deeds and I’m kind to people and I cut out a lot of bad stuff in my life and I know Allah is severe in punishment. But I don’t want to be in hell fire and I want to know if my sin will ever be forgiven so I may avoid hell fire. I truly do regret my past and if I could change it I would but…I can’t. If anyone could answer my question I would be so grateful.
A: Regretting and repenting is what Allah Ta`ala commands. The one who repents and abstains from wrong is the friend of Allah. Allah will wash out and clear out all his past baggages.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)