Contemplating suicide

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by

Q: I’ve suffered from depression, and I’ve realized I am still depressed. I am 19 and I live in Spain. All my friends and the other teens I know spend the summer in the swimming pool, in the beach and traveling (my brother who is 18 too), but I can’t. Because I am a Muslim, I can’t wear bikini so I can’t spend time with them in the sea, and what’s more I can’t swim (which is my favourite hobby). Since I’ve had the period, I’ve spent every summer alone in my bedroom dreaming about going to swim with my friends. I love Islam but I want to wear a bikini, swim with my friends and spend the night with them as well. I am unhappy now. I’ve thought about doing it, but I can’t because my parents are going to realize it since my skin will get darker if I do it. And I can’t ask them If I can do this, because for a Muslim, that will be one of the worst things ever for a father to let his daughter wear inmodest clothes. I am a good person, I study at college and I’ve never hurt anyone. The last year I tried to commit suicide, but I decided to wait and I’ve realized the wait wasn’t worth it. I know this is the last summer I am going to be here because I’ve decided to commit suicide to stop the pain I am feeling every day. Every teen is enjoying the summer, while I am spending it crying and I am tired of it. I just wanted to ask you what you think, can a Muslim girl wear a bikini in this situation (if she doesn’t wear it she could commit suicide)? Thanks and sorry for explaining my life.


A: The enjoyment that the kaafir goes through is only an imaginary enjoyment, not real enjoyment. Hence, there is no good in you getting consumed in their enjoyments and pleasure. The real enjoyment is the enjoyment of the hereafter, for it is real and lasting. It is like giving a scooter to an adult. Of what good can it be to an adult.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

This answer was collected from, where the questions have been answered by Mufti Zakaria Makada (Hafizahullah), who is currently a senior lecturer in the science of Hadith and Fiqh at Madrasah Ta’leemuddeen, Isipingo Beach, South Africa.

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