Q: I was 18 when I met my now husband…and I found out after I fell in love with him that he has a illigitimate child..he had no contact with her since birth and did not want to as the mother didn’t want him to have any rifts over the child as she was to marry a man she cheated with on my husband in the past… For 16 years there was no contact and I married my husband on the grounds that this will never be a problem 1 day as I was never given a option to accept this with him or not… Furthermore for years he did not want this himself..
A few months ago after 16 years the child contacted het father and out of no where he wanted to have a relationship with her but his ex and child is not muslim and I could not bring myself to accept this…
Firstly the child isn’t islam..2ndly I feel betrayed at the fact that I have to change my life for others mistakes of 16 years..my pious parents accepted this marriage on grounds that this would never come back like this…
I do feel bad as I told my husband…i cannot accept his estranged ex and child which isn’t muslim in my life after so many years when now I want to start my own family and if he wants his child I have no choice but to divorce him as I cannot accept and fix a 16 year lost relationship of him and his daughter.. Am I wrong to not accept this?because I feel like I’ve been wronged by him and his false promise at the time of marriage..im scared Allah will punish me for stopping him and the child from having a relationship…
A: The child born out of wedlock will be attributed to the mother. The child will not be attributed to the biological father and nor will he/she be regarded as the child of the biological father. Similarly, the child will not inherit from the biological father and nor will the biological father inherit from the child. Rather, the child will be attributed to the mother and will inherit from her. Hence, she is not the responsibility of your husband and nor is it permissible for him to have any contact with her or her mother.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Mufti Zakaria Makada
Checked & Approved:
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)