Q: I have always known that the fragrance of Jannah will be haraam for a woman that does not wear hijab and that it is compulsory on woman to wear it in Islam. However, I never really let that soak in until very recently when I started wearing the hijab. Nobody has ever ostricized me for it and I was gaining confidence and starting to be comfortable about going out with it. I was starting to tell myself that I look better with hijab than without it even though I didn’t really believe that. The other day my mother just ruined it all. She kept making little hints but the other day she couldn’t handle it any more and told me that I’m becoming too holy and that I don’t have to act like an old lady and wear scarf all the time. She said that it’s more difficult for women who wear hijab to get married because boys like modern girls. When I began crying she tried to cover up what she initially said by telling me that she only meant I should take it off when sitting privately with friends in a coffee shop etc which made zero sense because obviously there would be male waiters around. She said that she just meant I would feel more comforable and fit in better without my scarf on. I never felt very uncomfortable or odd with it but after she said that I do. She apologized and my father explained to her how we’re meant to stick to Allah’s commands no matter what etc. The matter was closed and everybody moved past it but I can’t get over it. I still wear scarf but now I feel like I look like an old lady in it. I tie it properly and try my best to dress nicely and look neat but she still makes me feel like I look like an old lady and it has broken my confidence like she often does. I am still very hurt by this and want to gain my confidence back but I don’t know what to do. I have no idea how to feel about this. What do I do to console myself and is there a dua I can read to be more confident and not care about opinions?
A: The fact that you are going to sleep in your own grave requires you to make all the suitable arrangements for the protection and the comfort of the grave where you will have no support and no company whatsoever.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)