Marital problems

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by Muftionline.co.za

Q: Since my childhood me and my cousin liked eachother. It’s been around 8 years that we are married to eachother and have 2 sons. During these 8 years she kept misbehaving with me and even kept abusing me often. I complained to her parents so many times to forbid her not to use slang words and not to abuse me but her parents never paid serious attention to my complains and always supported their daughter. I tried my best to make our married life happy but the situation did not change at all and even went worse day by day. During this time she kept asking me to divorce her on several occassions. Moreover she never respected my parents as well. The time kept passing with the same circumstances and I was completely faded up with the circumstances. Different people said that our couple is effected by black magic.

Few months ago, I fell in love with my office colleague. She was first my good friend and I shared my problems with her as a friend. At that time she was engaged with someone else. Suddenly her engagement was broken due to some family issues and then she asked me if I can marry her. I replied positively. But she put a condition that I will have to divorce my first wife before marry her. I replied positively without thinking anything. I fell in deep love with her and as the days passed she fell in love with me too. At that time I decided to divorce my first wife and then marry her. That girl continuously kept forcing me to divorce my first wife without wasting any more time. I kept trying to divorce her but something was stopping me to do so, may be because of my children and our parents and family. I wasn’t getting any chance to divorce her. Finally I tried to divorce her but our parents and family members got involved in this matter and all came to know that I am doing this because I wanted to marry the other girl. According to Muftis the divorce which I issued to her was counted as a single divorce and I had 3 months to revive my marriage. Different Maulanas said that I was affected by black magic by a girl and that’s why I am so desperate to divorce my first wife. Everyone in my family blammed me without understanding the problems of my married life which I have been facing for 8 years. I was so desperate to marry that girl and I found a way. I told that girl clearly that I will not divorce my first wife and wanted to marry her as well, she agreed as she was in deep love with me. So, I moved to UAE alone to find a job and finally I got a job and I came to Pakistan to marry that girl, thought that I would take her to UAE with me after marrying her and after some time I will let my parents know about my second marriage. I kept everything highly confidential. Only few of my friends know about it. I came to Pakistan for 4 days. Asked my friends to play a role as my elder brother and his wife and went to that girl’s home for my marriage propsal. Me and that girl told her parents a lie that I was divorced, didn’t tell anything that I am already married. I lied to her parents that my parents can’t come for my marriage proposal as they were in Saudia and that’s why my elder brother (who was actually my friend) and his wife have arrived for my marriage proposal. Next day, we arranged a small ceremony and did Nikah on 12th February, 2017 and I took her to UAE with me, keeping everything highly confidential. After few days my first wife came to know about my second marriage and she again started misbehaving with me, used slang language with me and insulted me. My parents still do not know about my second marriage till date and I do not know why but I can not dare to inform my parents about my second marriage. I do not want to divorce my first wife now and even do not want to leave my second wife, as I am happy with my second wife and she respects and cares about me alot. Now I am too much worried as my first wife is continuously asking me to divorce my second wife and my second wife has also asked me for few times to divorce my first wife. I do not want to divorce any of them, as if I leave either of them, their life will be spoiled and effected in a very bad way and on the other side my parents still do not know about anything whatever is going on and I can not dare to inform my parents. I am afraid of their reaction after knowing about my second marriage. My second marriage is based on a lie, as her family members except her mother do not know that I am already married and even they do not know that who went there for my marriage proposal were not my real brother and brother’s wife.

Please guide me the best solution in the light of Islam and your best knowledge.

Bismillaah

A: Make sure that you distribute your time and your wealth evenly between both. Don’t compare one against the other at any time. Ignore baseless criticism and comments. Work with mashwarah with someone who is well experienced and Allah fearing. May Allah Ta`ala make it easy for you.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.

 

Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

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