Q: I am a very bad boy very much trying to be good when I am alone. Alhamdulillah I am a kind of boy who had spoiled by my bad friend, in my small age, that bad guy taught me bad things forcefully in my 3rd standard, this forceful learning spoiled my heart, Now presently I am engineering student. Alhamdulillah upto know I am as a good boy to every one (honest, trustworthy, advice giver, problem resolver etc…) I have one bad habit which taught by my friend i.e.. Watching pornonography and its related issues. After every time I did that, I torture myself and regret for that and strictly makes niyyah not be repeat that, but unfortunately it’s repeating. Once I left that for one year but it’s repeating This all done by me when I am alone. Outside, when I see any girl, I don’t look at them, not even talk to them but helps them when they asked. Outside my intention is good ie. I thinks that if anyone looks at my sister how I feel bad, like that they are also sisters and daughters of others so I don’t even look at them. I am suffering this almost from 12 years But no one knows except me and Allah. I am acting like two different persons characters ie.. Mostly different in night, Every time I feel religious but suddenly I become evil for certain period and then my regret starts.
Recently I talked to a mufti in mobile, I hadn’t told him my story, but he asked my mothers name and said I am frequently attacked by a very big jinn, who comes to me and changes my mood to bad etc… He told me as I told him that I am not feeling good. I tried almost everything to solve this problem with out exposing this matter but I am unsuccessful, so I am telling this to you.
I have another doubt also as I am fighting this for 12 years to get rid of this, if I got rid of this completely, are my sins erasable by Allah. Now, could you please instruct me, If you think that i am attacked by some jinn then plz give me some effective Ruqya (presently I am reading muawwidatein morning and evening). Plz help me until I get completely cured, I will update my status to you frequently.
A: One is able to make progress in big strides in life with a firm resolve and determination. In proportion to your resolve is the progress and success. And one of the most effective things to create resolve is company, provided it is the company of one who is experienced, knowledgeable about deen and most interested in the aakhirat than anything else. In proportion to you committing yourself to this friendship will be your progress.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)