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Finding a Spouse: My Istikhara Experience and the Struggle with Confusion

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Muftionline.co.za

Q: I was reciting many duas for getting married and finding a good spouse (like rabbi inni lima anzalta ilaiyya min khairin fakeer and innama ashku bassi wa huzni illallah) and I got a proposal a bit strangely. The mother of the boy saw me in the market and started asking my mother questions. Then they came to our house. They seem like very nice people. The problem is that Im still confused, the boy doesnt seem very relegious and he did his graduation from London so he is friends with all kind of people. We asked our imam of the masjid and he said that this proposal is good for me. I have performed istikhara for 7 days and didnt see any dream so mufti sahab asked me to offer 2 rakaht nafal prayer in which I would recite surah kosar 41 times in the first rakat and recite surah nasr 41 times in the 2nd rakaht. I read this nafal for almost 7 days and saw different dreams. One wasnt good and others were good but according to mufti sahab the bad one could be the evil dream but im extremely confused and worried. Please help me out as this decision is the biggest decision of my life and I dont want to regret later on.

Bismillaah

A: When choosing a life partner, the Hadith teaches us that apart from basing one’s choice on beauty and good looks, one should look at the level of Deen in the person one wishes to marry. If one finds the person to be from a pious family and the person also is pious, possessing good character and committed to Deen and one finds the person to be compatible to one in other aspects, then one should marry such a person. If you are unclear about the Deeni commitment of the boy and his mannerisms, then you should ask your family to make the necessary enquiries.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.

Answered by:

Mufti Zakaria Makada

Checked & Approved:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

This answer was collected from MuftiOnline.co.za, where the questions have been answered by Mufti Zakaria Makada (Hafizahullah), who is currently a senior lecturer in the science of Hadith and Fiqh at Madrasah Ta’leemuddeen, Isipingo Beach, South Africa.

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