Q: Nowadays I am quite worried. Please tell me what steps should I take to make my life normal.
I live in pakistan, where when you get married, people think that now you are their servant. I have graduated in software engineering but my husband dont allow me to work. I understand he is my husband and he can give me orders. But my problem is that his parents also think that they are my responsibility. His mother’s attitude is not good with me from the time I got married. His mother says that there is nothing appreciatable or good in me, I am ugly and dont do any thing good. Although my relatives say thay I am good looking. I am telling you this so that you can understand that she hurts me and insults me and expects that I have to serve her. Last time my mother in law said that if I cannot do what she says then I have to stay in my parents home just because I made bread dough with my own recipe not like what she said. Along with other household chores she wants me to even iron her and her husband cloths. Although I have the responsibility of my husband and a daughter. My main issue is their behaviour and their insults. Now I am at my parents home and I refuse to go back to my in laws home. I have asked my husband that I will only go back if he will take me and his mother to some mufti so that the mufti could tell that his parents that they are not my responsibility. Maybe in this way their attitude will change. But my husband refused so now I’m in my parents home. Do you think what I have done is right? Please tell me what I should do? Because I have lost all my self respect for my husband and in laws . Still they are not happy. They have made me hate myself. Please tell me if my husband can force me to serve his parents?
A: We do not say that your thinking is wrong. Perhaps one amicable approach could have been that you discuss this entire matter with your husband and according to your circumstance see what may be the best option to avoid any future misunderstanding, troubles and confusion.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)