Communicating before nikaah

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by

Q: My mother died in 2013 and my father was eager to marry again. He kept searching constantly on different matrimonial sites but to no avail. Then my father’s friend told my father about a woman who was interested in marriage. That later turned out to be a fraud as the woman with whom my father married took the mahr, spent only couple of days with him and vanished suddenly. My father then resorted back to search on matrimonial sites which only wasted his time even more. About a year or so later, my maternal uncle died. My father proposed to my maternal uncle’s wife after idda. She refused. Now last year my second maternal uncle died and my father proposed to his widow during idda. She said in my dream I saw you putting henna on my foot… And from last 4 days my father is constantly messaging her day and night. He is very worried if mobile battery is discharged. Even asks for my mobile to contact her. Though he is regular in prayer but he is very obsessed now. I still have two younger brothers who are not married and my father can’t run to keep a check on what they do. How is he going to take care of the widows 2 daughters and 3 sons (one of them was caught robbing twice by police). My father is retired and has bare enough pension to support 2 persons. I live in a different city due to my job. My father is at my house for couple of days. I want to respect him but also warn him. Please advise urgently.


A: Ask your father not to message her. If he is interested then he should contact the elders of her family and live with respect in nikaah.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

This answer was collected from, where the questions have been answered by Mufti Zakaria Makada (Hafizahullah), who is currently a senior lecturer in the science of Hadith and Fiqh at Madrasah Ta’leemuddeen, Isipingo Beach, South Africa.

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