Q: I have commited zina with a married women with mutual consent despite knowing that it is one of the biggest sins a Muslim can commit. After doing so, the feeling of committing such a grave sin made me feel extremely worried and ashamed. On my way back to home, I kept asking for forgiveness from Allah (Ta’ala) and promised Allah as well as myself that I am not going to do it again. Now, I am still feeling ashamed and I have communicated my situation to the woman I committed the sin with. She is telling me about her feeling the same but forcing me to meet her for the last time just to talk. She is begging me to meet her and promising that she won’t come near me and we can meet at a public place but I just don’t want to meet her and want to end everything. I tried to tell her about repentance and about the sin we just committed. She is threatening that she won’t eat anything and can commit suicide as well due to the feeling of sin. I tried to tell her about the punishment of suicide and everything but she didn’t listen. I became so afraid and panicked that I blocked her from everywhere she can contact me. Now I am not in touch with her in any way. Now, I have to ask two questions.
1. I am very ashamed of what I did and feeling very guilty. I have repented with a true heart. But naturally, I am unable to cry and feel very emotional about it. All I can feel is that I have done wrong and don’t want to do it again for the sake of Allah but I am unable to ask for forgiveness by crying hard in front of Allah. Even if i want to cry, I couldn’t. What should I do for that?
2. If that woman commits suicide behind what happened, is there any responsibility on my shoulder as well? Because whatever happened, I was involved in it and her suicide would be due to me. Would I be accountable for her suicide? If she commits suicide without repentance and asking forgiveness from Allah, would my repentance be accepted?
1. It is sufficient that your heart is crying.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)