Q: I need guidance on what takes priority and precedence in terms of my dilemma. I live in a small town that is Islamic conscious and a very good environment for my children. Drugs and bad habits are minimal and less accessible than the big city that I come from. Spiritually living in this town is also far more uplifting and one is more conscious of Allah. My problem is my father passed away and my mum and sister are now putting pressure on me to move back home to the city. Drugs and the environment are a problem. There is also always family politics and Ill feelings of which I am not a part of don’t want to be apart of as I prefer to stay neutral and out of everyone else’s business. My mum and sister are making me feel guilty in order to get me to move back there. My mum is more than welcome to come and live with me but says she doesn’t want to move away from her family. I feel that they expect me to risk and sacrifice my family and life and the upbringing I want for my children for their convenience. I have explained that I don’t want to move and my reasons but it falls on deaf ears as they only seem to want to make things better for them. In Islam in know the importance of my mother and I feel guilty but want the best for my kids and spiritually for myself, my husband and kids. What would be the right thing to do Islamically? Am I supposed to risk my kids and my strong spiritual grounding where I live to accommodate my mother?
A: Visit them regularly, show them all the respect and see to their needs, for whatever they need with kindness and consideration.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)