Q: Three years ago in June 2013, I met a guy. We started meeting each other and we started to appreciate and like each other. At that time, we were not aware of what we were doing. After few months we realise that what we are doing is haram, that it’s a big sin so we sincerely as Allah for repentance and for forgiveness. But we loved each other so we decided to stop sinning and rectify our mistake by marrying each other. We wanted to start a new halaal life together, moving on the right way, becoming good Muslims insha Allah. Our intention was pure and we were really afraid of committing a sin again so in February 2014, this guy decided to ask his family to come to meet my parents and my family to ask for the marriage of their son with me. Both of us are happy with this marriage, and even the guy family is. And our intention and our heart is pure, we are afraid of being in haram again, and Allah know better what is in our heart. But my parents refuse to meet this guy’s and his family. They don’t know them, and don’t even want to meet and know them just because of his cast. In fact we are Pakistani and we are from the upper cast and the guy is from the lower one. My parents told me that they prefer i stay unmarried than marrying this guy. And if i marry him, what will they reply to the peoples of the Duniya. From february 2014 since today we are trying to make them understand. I’m really afraid of committing sin again. We really want to stop all this fear by marriying each other but my parents dont help me, they create more problems by stopping our marriage. They always told me that i have commited sin by talking and meeting this guy but we really felt guilty and ask Allah for forgiveness, and Allah know better what is in our heart and our intention, we really want to repair our mistake. They want me to marry someone I don’t know that they will choose just for their ego and proudness, just for the duniya. But I like this guy, and since we realise our sin, he became more religious, he prays 5 times a day, he decide to have a beard. And even if he is religious, my parents still refuse to meet him and his family. Please help me to understand if my parents reaction is correct according to Islam, is it right to stop his daughters wedding and delay it. Today I’m 26, I’m trying to make them understand for 2 years. Am I wrong by refusing to marry a random guy chosen by my parents when this guy who like me and whom i like, who’s waiting for 2 years to marry me is ready to send his family to my parents. Even my brothers and sisters don’t want to help me, for them, I’m disobeying my parents. But I respect my parents so much, I’m waiting for their acceptance to marry this guy and we never thought of disobeying my parents. Please can you tell me if I’m wrong trying to defend my right? Please tell me what can I do? We don’t want to sin again. It’s really difficult for both of us. No one want to help me, they all tell me only what they want me to do and not what is right in Islam? My parents or me?
A: All forms of premarital relationships are haraam. Cut off any communication with this person. Beg Allah Ta`ala’s forgiveness and assign your affair to Allah.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)