Q: I found out that my husband is having an affair with a 21 year old muslim girl. He has confessed that he does love her. So I read istikara to ask for guidance. My first dream was I was at my mums house and all of my bags were packed but I am busy helping my mum to make sweetmeats. My second dream was I was at the mall but I was having intercourse with my husband. I am very confused so I am not sure what this means.
A: Try your best to get the house working. Work on your husband. Who knows, he may change his life.
In the face of the predicament you are in, there are two aspects to understand. The first is your relationship with Allah Ta’ala which is of primary concern. The secondary relationship is that of your husband. I do understand that your relationship with your husband is indeed important but remember that your relationship with Allah Ta’ala is of utmost importance.
Perhaps this difficulty you are experiencing is actually an excuse for you to strengthen your relationship with Allah Ta’ala. Spend more of your time on the musalla making du`aa to Allah Ta’ala and begging Him to assist you in this difficulty. Be punctual on your five daily salaah and obey Allah Ta`ala in every aspect of your life.
Allah Ta’ala in His kindness rewards such women abundantly. There were many women in the past who were greatly oppressed by their husbands but because of their firmness and perseverance, Allah Ta’ala rewarded them with immense rewards. Among the highest ranking women in this world and the hereafter is Hadhrat Aasiya, the wife of Fir`oun. She was oppressed and tortured by Fir`oun but she persevered and remained firm on Islam. As a result, Allah Ta’ala blessed her with such a lofty status that she is ranked among the four highest ranking women in Jannah.
At the same time, do not become depressed and drowned in your worries. Make a point of reciting the Qur’aan Shareef and making zikr at home. Daily read out some portion from the Fazaa’il-e-A`maal. The recitation of the Qur’aan and noble ahaadeeth of Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) will bring about enormous barkat in your home.
Insha-Allah there is hope that Allah Ta’ala will open up your husband’s mind and grant him true understanding.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)