Disciplining children

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by

Q: I would like to know how to inculcate good manners in my children. I noticed that if I am strict and firm with them, they start screaming and crying. However, if I am lenient with them, they take advantage of me and simply ignore me. Please provide me with some guidelines on how to discipline them.


A: To teach the child discipline and respect is the best gift a parent can give to the child. Respect and discipline requires firmness with kindness. A simple procedure in disciplining children is don’t hit them but avoid giving them some luxury item that you normally give them for a week or two weeks.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.

حدثنا ايوب بن موسى عن أبيه عن جده : أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه و سلم قال ما نحل والد ولدا من نحل أفضل من أدب حسن (جامع الترمذي #1952)

ومنه ضرب الأب ابنه تأديبا أو الأم أو الوصي ومن الأول ضرب الأب أو الوصي أو المعلم بإذن الأب تعليما فمات لا ضمان فضرب التأديب مقيد لأنه مباح وضرب التعليم لا لأنه واجب ومحله في الضرب المعتاد وأما غيره فموجب للضمان في الكل وتمامه في الأشباه (الدر المحتار 6/565)

Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

This answer was collected from, where the questions have been answered by Mufti Zakaria Makada (Hafizahullah), who is currently a senior lecturer in the science of Hadith and Fiqh at Madrasah Ta’leemuddeen, Isipingo Beach, South Africa.

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