Q: I and my husband have been married for four years now with one two year old son. Before our marriage we had a love relation for ten years. As we are cousins too, we had the most beautiful relation though with few fights. Just before getting married I was studying for USMLE but my husband who was my fiance stopped me had big fights and told me to leave it and study in Pakistan whatever I want to do. Two years after our marriage I did my specialization and started working in hospital from 9 to 2. Its been last one month my husband has strong objection on not doing it and leaving it. In between our marriage we had huge fights. My husband beat me several times very brutally and things have gotten to two talaaqs because of his anger. He has not given me any money for my personal expenses only for house hold and recently he took away money from me which he gave to save and told me he will not give me money as I do job and he will deprive me of it. I came to my parents home. He came and misbehaved and abused my parents. They came to know he beats me regularly and abuses me. They told me to leave him but he apologised and said he will not do it again and let me continue my profession. As I came back with him his attitude is still the same no change in it. His parents tell him in front of me to do second marriage. I would add here that he recently told me before going for hajj that he had been bisexual before marriage and has done infidelities multiple times with both men and women but after marriage has stopped. My heart has stopped loving and trusting him and I don’t even like it when he touches me because his attitude towards me is still the same. Should I get separated? Is it ok for me to leave him or stay? I am unable to communicate with him because he will fight and hurt me. I don’t want to destroy our relation but my heart no longer likes him.
A: If his conduct is unbearable you may ask him for a separation in a respectable and dignified manner.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Answered by:
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)