Q: I am very tensed due to a few circumstances in the home now. When I was married my husband was earning and all his income went on my sister in-law’s high fee, their dresses and other stuff and my mother in-law kept all his money saved. For full four years my husband gave me nothing and we saved nothing and then my son began to go to school and and then the other expenditures started along with the birth of second child. My husband’s other brothers they also started working and what they earned they saved and now they have enough money. My mother in-law has enough money to spend on herself, but my husband who gave all what he has to his family is now hand to mouth. I always believe that virtue comes back to its doer but this happened not in my case. My in-laws are against me because they are not enjoying my husbands money because of our own expenditures. I am tensed because I have to do a job to bear the expenditures and my husband is tensed that we have saved nothing and his support is never regarded in the family. The only thing which my dewar did is to get a ups for the whole family and my saas tell this to all eveytime every day and my husband who used to keep all the money in his mom’s hand, she has said nothing in her favour. Before my dewar’s wedding I was the only target of my saas, she used to scold me but after wedding she had seen the new bahu’s behaviour. She is a bit changed towards me but why I suffered so harsh for 10 years? Why was I unfortunate enough to bear and face all that?
A: The Hadith teaches us to treat people with kindness and compassion and forgive and overlook their faults. Even if they are harsh and rude in their approach towards us, then too we should maintain good relations and adopt a polite and gentle approach when dealing with them. In this way Allah Ta’ala will soften their hearts towards us and create mutual love and understanding between us and them. Whatever good you and your husband have done in the past towards the family is known to Allah Ta’ala and appreciated by Him. He will reward you and your husband and bless you for all that you have done. Hence there is no need for you to worry or expect thanks from the family. At the time of hardship and difficulty, we should continue to turn to Allah Ta’ala in dua and seek His divine assistance and grace.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Answered by:
Mufti Zakaria Makada
Checked & Approved:
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)