Communicating with the boy before nikaah

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by

Q: Please help me sir. I am in depression. I know my problem which I have written is too big and time consuming. Please help me. I am a 25 years old Muslim girl. My parents are finding suitable husband for me with which I am fine. I never had any past relationship. I believe Allah has already planned a very good man for me. I recently got a proposal from a very good family. I heard that the family and that the boy is very nice and suitable for me. My family became very happy and satisfied. That boy wanted to speak to me. I agreed. The conversation with him was very uncomfortable. He was speaking as if we are in a relationship. Within 24 hours of our conversation he told he is missing me which I found very awkward. I was worried so I did ishtekhara. I prayed to Allah to give me some indications. I prayed that if that person is not good for my deen, duniya and aakhirat, then please don’t make me marry this person. He continuously calls me and messages me. I have stopped replying to him. I told him that from now on our elders will decide. He was insisting me to talk and convincing me to agree to this marriage. I denied marrying him. Now my family is worried that I have taken decision in a hurry and judged him too soon. My parents are disappointed and telling me that I have rejected a good proposal and now I am not going to get any better proposals and this is the reason why many girls don’t get married at the right age and to a right person because of childish behaviour like me. I am extremely worried and low I am continuously praying to Allah that if I have done a mistake please forgive me. I am praying for a suitable proposal for me. I am upset. I am scared. Please help me.


A: This person seems to be a jaahil. He doesn’t know deen. He has thus trespassed the mark. If he does not fear Allah and does not respect the commands of Allah, how do you expect him to respect you. Be conscious of Allah and take care of His laws all the time and He will take care of you for the present and the future. Also make istighfaar that you had allowed the conversation to go beyond the limit.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

This answer was collected from, where the questions have been answered by Mufti Zakaria Makada (Hafizahullah), who is currently a senior lecturer in the science of Hadith and Fiqh at Madrasah Ta’leemuddeen, Isipingo Beach, South Africa.

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