Q: I have been married for 10 years and have 2 children aged 1 and 3. My husband and I fight constantly because he has a bad temper. He smokes weed and hangs around with non muslim friends. He has never beaten me so that I have marks but has struck me and pushed me while holding my baby. He has always tried to kick me out of the house but my mother in law has intervened and allowed me to stay. If he says he wants a divorce and I should leave, what are his responsibilities towards his children as we do not have anywhere to go and I cannot afford to rent a place on my salary.
A: Under your circumstance, be patient and read and adhere to the following:
In the face of the predicament you are in, there are two aspects to understand. The first is your relationship with Allah Ta’ala which is of primary concern. The secondary relationship is that of your husband. I do understand that your relationship with your husband is indeed important but remember that your relationship with Allah Ta’ala is of utmost importance.
Perhaps this difficulty you are experiencing is actually an excuse for you to strengthen your relationship with Allah Ta’ala. Spend more of your time on the musalla making du`aa to Allah Ta’ala and begging Him to assist you in this difficulty. Be punctual on your five daily salaah and obey Allah Ta`ala in every aspect of your life. As far as your husband is concerned, show him the respect he deserves but don’t get consumed in what he is doing. Try to advise him as much as you can and leave the rest to Allah Ta`ala.
Allah Ta’ala in His kindness rewards such women abundantly. There were many women in the past who were greatly oppressed by their husbands but because of their firmness and perseverance, Allah Ta’ala rewarded them with immense rewards. Among the highest ranking women in this world and the hereafter is Hadhrat Aasiya, the wife of Fir`oun. She was oppressed and tortured by Fir`oun but she persevered and remained firm on Islam. As a result, Allah Ta’ala blessed her with such a lofty status that she is ranked among the four highest ranking women in Jannah.
Make a point of reciting the Qur’aan Shareef and making zikr at home. Daily, gather your family and read out some portion from the Fazaa’il-e-A`maal. The recitation of the Qur’aan and noble Ahaadeeth of Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) will bring about enormous barkat in your home.
Insha Allah there is hope that Allah Ta’ala will open up your husband’s mind and grant him true understanding. May Allah Ta’ala remove your worries and bless you with happiness in this world and the next.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Answered by:
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)