A/salaam, I am a 24 year old male in Glasgow who could possibly go to Jahanam because I am a Gay/bisexual (not sure).
I have been reading Salaah for 4 years on & off & have been masturbating from the age of 12.
Because I have been masturbating for 12 years my health has deteriorated excessively i.e. my knees have went very weak, so has my eyes, my confidence is dead. Yaa Sheikh what can I do this Physical pain is too much. About 4 Months ago my body went against me meaning whenever I Have a shower my skin starts to feel irritating, itchy & very sore. every time I shower I have to scratch my body all over, before it was not much but now it is spreading all over my body.
I tell my self if I cant take the heat of this Dunya how will I take the heat of Jahanam but it never works nor do I stop masturbating nor do I stop practising Zina with the same sex.
2 days ago i was reading Tahajjud & today I went & practices what the people of lot (AS) use to do. No matter how hard I try I can never stop my self from this disgusting act. I always give in to my Nafs.
Sheikh do you know what’s even worse I have a beard & lots of respect in my local community if someone finds out it will be disgracing humiliating.
Their is a Hadith that says “their will come a time when a man will be a Muslim in the morning & a Kaafir in the evening”. This Hadith fits be like o glove.
One minute my Imaan is as the sky I am crying on front of Allah at night & the next minute a become the lowest of the low, if I see nice handsome young men I loose my sense. I don’t know what to do & the Imaan leaves my heart like a “bullet leaving the gun”!!!!
Yaa sheikh I have lost a lot in life. Allah gave me a great health, I was very strong physically & spiritually but now its all dead. I have been away from Salaah, on & off. now I think that I am finished.
Yaa sheikh even if I get married their will be a problem because I ejaculate sperm within 2 minutes. I will never be able to satisfy my wife’s sexual needs due to me damaging my private parts’ nerve system.
Yaa sheikh, their is far too much too say & not enough words in my sinful mind all I would like to ask you is to advice or possibly help me, if I am capable off being helped. please remember that I am Glasgow & their are 2 gay saunas here, which you can walk in too. an d all a gay phone line where you can meet up with people.
Please also could you tell me the following :
1.Am I out side the fold of Islam
2.what will my condition be on the day of judgement 3.Could u please help
PS. sheikh if I am outside the fold of Islam could you please tell me because I have a right to know. don’t worry I am not one of those who say if im out then there’s nothing I can do, I will keep on fighting until the day I die< Insha Allah
In light of your explanation, you are not out of the fold of Islam, Alhamdulillah. Continue asking Allah for his forgiveness, making Taubah and performing your Salaah. Whatever the conditions may be, do not stop performing your Salaah. Continuously ask Allah to safeguard you from sin and give you the strength to stay away from all evils.
In order to refrain from sin, it is imperative upon a person to create within himself the strength to suppress the inner crave or carnal desires. This can be achieved by making a little effort on your part.
If you engage in these acts on a daily basis, then you should make a firm resolution that, I will stay away from this act for an entire day, and if I do not act in accordance to this resolution, then I will give a certain amount of money in charity. Thereafter, you should refrain from this evil act for that day. If you fail then you should rebuke yourself that, I do not even have the strength within me to stay away from sin. Have I become enslaved to my desires? I ought to be ashamed of myself, as this is not the quality of bold men. Follow this by giving a certain amount of money in charity. Thereafter you should make the same resolution for the next day. If you manage to stay away from this act for an entire day, then you should thank Allah and make a resolution for the following day. In this manner the days of refraining from evil will gradually increase. Do not become despondent!!!
Furthermore, we advise you to get married and consult with an Aalim in your locality, explain your situation to him. Tell him to reprimand you whenever you commit a sin and influence you to stay away from sin. You should meet with him on a daily basis and openly inform him of your daily activities.
We hope that, Insha Allah, by acting on the aforementioned advices your situation will improve.
And Allah Taala knows best
Mufti Muhammad Ashraf
08 August 2005
02 Rajab 1426