Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,
Mufti Sahib, We are only married for 4 months, but I am having many endless fights and arguments with my husband. On small issues, such huge altercations erupt, that we end not talking for days. This is really getting to me, I am beginning to get so stressed out. To be honest, I love my husband alot, and want to make this marriage work. Please, Mufti, please guide me. please mention to me solutions on how we can have a blissful marriage? What duas can I recite?
Wa’alaykum as Salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,
The prevalent thought before marriage is that newly-weds are the happiest people. However many a married couple would agree that reality is somewhat quite the opposite. With all the new-found love and joy comes an overwhelming amount of adjustment, which can take its toll on the relationship to a giant degree. As a result many a time the first year or so of marriage proves to be the toughest in some ways. Hence a great deal of patience, tolerance, and forgiveness is required.
The following could be recited as a protection from the fights and arguments that you have:
Verse 74 of Surah Furqaan:
رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا
Make it a habit to recite this after every prayer.
Another thing that will Insha-Allah help is that you should recite seven times Bismillahir-Rahmaanir-Raheem and blow upon every pot of food that you cook. Eating this food together will then Insha-Allah remove the element of anger and frustration that exists between them.
A third thing that could be prescribed is that, before your husband comes home daily, you should recite seven times Durood, then recite twenty-one times verse number 39 of Surah Maryam:
Thereafter, recite seven times Durood again and then blow into your palms and pass the palms over your face. Continue this for at least 40 days.
Along with all the above, seeing that you have the desire to make your marriage work, you should be the first one to take the step to actively work on it as well. Inspect and see what is leading to the arguments. If your husband does not like certain things, try to stay away from those actions. Even if you feel there should be compromise from his side or that he is wrong, rather take on the sacrifice to make your marriage work. You will find that in doing so you will win over your husband with good character. Display kindness and warmness to him, so that you can melt his heart. It may all be very difficult, but in due time he will shower you with the same when he will realise what a priceless blessing you are to him.
We should also not forget the importance of proper communication. Discuss with him with him ways to improve your marriage.
Insha Allah, by following the above, Allah will bless you with happiness and bliss in your marriage.
Ismail Moosa (Mufti)
Euro-Sunni & Islamic Research and Welfare Academy