Question
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته
Shariah tells us to make pardah from one’s brother in law but what to do if your parents and family members tells you not to make pardah from your brother in law
Do I have to go against them?
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Sister in Islam,
Your understanding of observing Hijaab from one’s brother in law is correct.
Shariah emphasizes the importance of respecting one’s parents. Always show respect to one’s parents. Do not let your religiousness affect your relationship with your parents.
Allah Taalah says:
و وصينا الانسان بوالديه احسانا
Translation: “And we have enjoined upon Mankind showing compassion to parents”
(Surah Al- Ankaboot, Verse 8)
However, one cannot obey a creation while disobeying the creator. If your parents want you to do anything un-Islamic, you cannot obey them. [1]
It is mentioned in a Hadeeth:
لَا طَاعَةَ لِمَخْلُوقٍ فِي مَعْصِيَةِ اللَّهِ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ
Translation: “There is no obedience to creation in the disobedience to Allah.”
(Musnad Ahmad)
You state your parents and family members tell you not to observe Hijaab/pardah from your brother in law. Their attitude is unfortunate. The right of Allah precedes the right of family.
A brother in law is a not a Mahram to the sister in law. A brother in law has easy access to his sister in law due to the flexibility in a family relationship. Such a free access is coupled with ones nafs and Shaytaan. Therefore, it is compulsory for one to maintain complete hijab from ones brother-in-law.
This is understood from the following Hadeeth:
عَنْ عُقْبَةَ بْنِ عَامِرٍ، أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ” إِيَّاكُمْ وَالدُّخُولَ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ ” فَقَالَ رَجُلٌ مِنَ الأَنْصَارِ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ أَفَرَأَيْتَ الْحَمْوَ قَالَ ” الْحَمْوُ الْمَوْتُ “
Translation: Nabi (ﷺ) said: Beware of entering into the houses and meeting women (in seclusion). A person from the Ansaar said: Allah’s Messenger, what about a husband’s brother, whereupon Nabi (ﷺ) said:
The Husband’s brother is like death.
(Saheeh Al-Muslim, Kitaab Al-Salaam)
Islam not only prohibits Zina, but also closes all the possible avenues leading to Zina. This is achieved by prohibiting every step and means leading to stimulating and aggravating desires.
Ahmad Shawki, the famed poet has succinctly described the end result of intermingling with non-Mahrams in the following couplet:
نـظـرة فابتسامة فسلام فـكـلام فـمـوعد فـلـقـاء
Translation: A glance, a smile then a greeting, a word, a promise then a meeting
Explain to your parents the importance of obeying the dictates of the Shariah. You should try to win over your parents’ hearts through serving them. Treat them with love, kindness and see to their needs. This will soften their hearts and change their mind set eventually. Employ wisdom when dealing with your parents.
Du’aa is the weapon of a believer. Perform Salaat-ul-Haajah and implore Allah Ta’ala to alleviate you from the predicament you are faced with. May Allah Ta’ala change the condition of your parents to be in accordance with the dictates of the Shariah. Aameen.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Mufti Muhammad I.V Patel
Checked and Approved by
Mufti Nabeel Valli.
Darul Iftaa Mahmudiyyah
Lusaka, Zambia
عَنْ ابْنِ عُمَرَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُمَا، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، قَالَ: «السَّمْعُ [ص:50] وَالطَّاعَةُ حَقٌّ مَا لَمْ يُؤْمَرْ بِالْمَعْصِيَةِ، فَإِذَا أُمِرَ بِمَعْصِيَةٍ، فَلاَ سَمْعَ وَلاَ طَاعَةَ»
سنن الترمذي ت بشار (3/ 261)
عَنِ ابْنِ عُمَرَ، قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: السَّمْعُ وَالطَّاعَةُ عَلَى الْمَرْءِ الْمُسْلِمِ فِيمَا أَحَبَّ وَكَرِهَ مَا لَمْ يُؤْمَرْ بِمَعْصِيَةٍ، فَإِنْ أُمِرَ بِمَعْصِيَةٍ فَلاَ سَمْعَ عَلَيْهِ وَلاَ طَاعَ
وأخرجه الطبراني في “الكبير” 18/ (433) من طريق سلمة بن علقمة، والقضاعي في “مسند الشهاب” (873) من طريق حماد بن يحيى، كلاهما عن ابن سيرين، عن عمران وحده، قال: قال رسول الله صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: “لا طاعة لمخلوق في معصية الله”
سنن أبي داود ت الأرنؤوط (4/ 265)
حدَّثنا عَمرو بن مَرزُوقِ، أخبرنا شعبةُ، عن زُبَيدٍ، عن سَعد بن عُبيدةَ، عن أبي عبدِ الرحمن السُّلَميِّ
عن علي: أن رسولَ الله -صلَّى الله عليه وسلم- بَعَثَ جيشاً وأَمَّرَ عليهم رجلاً، وأمَرَهُم أن يَسمَعُوا له ويُطيعوا، فأجَّجَ ناراً وأمَرَهُم أن يَقتحِمُوا فيها، فأبَى قومٌ أن يدخُلُوها، وقالوا: إنما فَرَرْنا من النار، وأراد قومٌ أن يدخُلُوها، فبلغ ذلك النبيَّ -صلَّى الله عليه وسلم- فقال: “لَو دخلُوها -أو دخَلُوا فيها- لم يزالُوا فيها”.
وقال: ” لا طاعةَ في معصيةِ اللهِ، إنما الطاعةُ في المعروفِ
بذل المجهود جلد9 صفحة220