I have a problem which is stated below for your kind interpretation in the light of hadith and sunnah.
We live in India in a community known as Mansuri Jammat. For the welfare of the society. The Mansuri Jammat has framed some stricter laws as regards to the families violating the norms. One of my relative had married his daughter to one of his relatives but the marriage did not go smoothly and as a result his daughter refused to go and stay there with her husband for she used to get lot of harassment and punishment. Now the daughter has filed a case against her husband and in-laws for the tortures meted out to her. After filing the case the community members got furiated and expelled the family of my relative from the community for he did not sought their permission before filing the case. While the fact is he did took verbal permission. Due to his expulsion from the society (which is against the Indian penal code) every member is boycotting him, not inviting him for any social function. He is being boycotted at all levels even if there is a death in his family no one would come to attend to:
In the light of above I request you to please state whether such type of boycott is permissible in Islam and whether our Prophet Mohammad Mustafah (sallalahu alai wa sallam) has ever encouraged such punishment. Your early reply shall help in sort out the problems.
ANSWER
In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,
Allah Most High says:
“The believers are but a single brotherhood. So make peace and reconciliation between your two (contending) brothers, and fear Allah that you may receive mercy.” (Surah al-Hujurat, 10)
Sayyiduna Abu Ayyub al-Ansari (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace said): “It is unlawful for an individual to severe relationship with his brother (m, in deen) for more than three nights, thus they meet and ignore one another. The best amongst them will be the one who greets the other first.” (Sahih al-Bukhari, no. 5727)
Jubayr ibn Mut’im narrates from his father (Allah be pleased with them) that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: “The one who breaks ties will not enter paradise.” (Sahih Muslim, no. 2556)
Sayyiduna Abu Hurayra (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: “It is unlawful for a Muslim to severe relationships with his (Muslim) brother for more than three days. Hence, whoever does severe relationships for more than three days and (thereupon) dies will go to Hell.” (Sunan Abu Dawud)
Sayyiduna Anas ibn Malik (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah said: “Do not hate one another, nor be jealous of one another; and do not desert one another, but O servants of Allah! Be Brothers. And it is unlawful for a Muslim to severe relationship with his (Muslim) brother for more than three nights.” (Sahih al-Bukhari, no.5726)
The above is quite clear in determining that it is impermissible for a Muslim to boycott or break off ties with a fellow Muslim. The one who does not talk with his fellow Muslim brother/sister has been warned of being caste into the fire of Hell.
However, scholars and commentators of Hadith explain that, for valid purposes such as the possibility of rectification and betterment of the other person, if he is not spoken to for a period, it will not be prohibited.
Imam al-Bukhari (Allah have mercy on him) formed a title in his Sahih ‘Chapter on what is permitted in breaking relationship with a sinner’. He then referred to the incident where the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) and the Sahaba (Allah be pleased with them all) abstained from talking to Ka’b ibn Malik, Murara ibn Rabi’ and Hilal ibn Umayya for staying behind from the battle of Tabuk. This lasted for fifty nights until Allah Almighty revealed their forgiveness in the Qur’an.
Therefore, if a Muslim is boycotted for an Islamically valid reason, such as he is an open sinner and transgressor, then to break off ties for a short period so that he abstains from his sin, will be permissible. However, all efforts first should be exerted in advising, explaining and helping him to stay away from that sin, and if he is boycotted, then this should not be form the heart, but merely so that he refrains for his evil ways.
In the mentioned situation, it is difficult for me to comment on something that I am unaware of and ignorant of exactly what went on. However, it seems that the Islamic society is at fault by boycotting the brother.
Marital problems are of domestic nature and thus they should be solved without the interference of outsiders, for they are usually unaware of exactly what went on between the parties involved. As such, they should help and assist the families involved in solving their problems but to boycott and totally shun a Muslim in not what Islam teaches.
If what you say is correct in that they also refuse to do anything if there was a death, then that is totally wrong. Establishing of the funeral prayer (salat al-Janaza) and funeral arrangements are a collective responsibility (fard al-Kifaya) and if they refuse to carry this out, they would be sinful.
I would advise the people involved to solve this problem mutually with graciousness and politeness, and avoid breaking ties with any body. May Allah guide us all to the straight path, Ameen.
And Allah Knows Best
[Mufti] Muhammad ibn Adam
Darul Iftaa
Leicester , UK