Answered by: Alimah Nasima Umm Hamza
Wedding proposal has come the girl’s father-mother family has agreed, both families have met and are happy to go ahead with it, but the father wanted £15000 dowry and more gold which I cannot afford but he did come to terms with the dowry my father and I offered, which was £5000.
The girl has accepted the dowry and gold from day one which was £5000 (gold is still the same what was offered from the beginning worth £2000)
The wedding was supposed to take place in October but the father keeps making excuses and trying his best to delay things hoping that we give up and walk away from the proposal. The girl is telling her father that she wants to make it halal as soon as possible both families have accepted.
The father of the girl keeps on trying to find excuses and make small issues into big issues wanting to break this proposal. My father has said he is happy with the proposal and don’t wish to delay and is happy to bring her home now. The girl knows her father is playing games and just wants to long the proposal for another 1-2 years but she is happy to get married as soon as possible.
I forgot to add her dad speaks to my and keeps saying inn sha allah it will happen but at home, the girl is saying that her dads playing games he wants to keep his daughter home for his benefits as she is working and paying bills etc she is 24 n saying to her dad she is ready to get married but her dad and mother saying she has time she can get married when she 30 so, therefore, she knows what her parents are doing as they have done the same to her elder sister this is the reason why she is ready to go ahead with nikkah without her parents because they not making it halal and holding her back
My question is would this marriage be valid if she comes without telling her parents but my father is happy to get our nikkah done
Please can you find out jazakhallah
بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيْم
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Marriage is a great commitment, which not only includes the union of a husband and wife, but also the union of two families together. Therefore it is of utmost importance that you try to conduct the marriage process with the happiness and consent from both sides. It may be best to get a local imam or an aalim involved, who both sides of the family approve of, who can help move things forward for the marriage to take place with the blessing of both sides.
To marry without the happiness of both families can cause many strains on the relationship between the husband and wife and therefore it is advised that you take the course of marrying with the consent and happiness of the bride’s guardian (wali).
However, in the situation where the bride’s guardian is unwilling to give her away during the nikah, then according to Imam Abu Hanifah, the nikah of a woman without her wali is valid. I would like to stress that this would be a last resort and only one to take when all other means have been exhausted.
[Ref: Al-Hidaayah, Kitaab an-Nikah, Baab fi al-wilaayah wal kafaa’ah, page 191
وينعقد نكاح الحرة العاقلة البالغة برضاها وإن لم يعقد عليها ولى بكرا كانت أو ثيبا عند أبي حنيفة وأبي يوسف ” رحمهما الله ” في ظاهر الرواية]
Only Allah Knows Best
Answered by Alimah Nasima Umm Hamza
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham