Answered by: Maulana Moinul Abu Hamza
Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah
I’m an 18 years old boy and want to practise Islam but I’m in difficulty. Satan wants to lead me into Zina (adultery) and I’m very scared about it. All types of satanic waswasah happen to me. I’m not able to marry someone now or not able to fast because I feel weakness. Please help me I don’t know what to do.
I don’t want to commit Zina (adultery) because I want to become a good Muslim. I offer salah, recite dhikr, give dawah and listen to scholars but don’t know why these types of things are happening to me? Is suicide permissible for me?
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
The following are some internal and external causes for such problems which you should try your utmost best to refrain from:
1) Weak perception of women and limiting them to objects. One must respect all women because they are the children of Adam (as) and sisters in Islam. Many brothers have a habit of desiring many women, respect none, and betray all because they have commodified women in their minds as the media has portrayed. Much of what you desire of women is not true in reality, a lot of it is where one’s mind is made to make physical desires more important and prominent in the mind than it actually is. Just like agitating hunger causes people to consume more food than they need, the desires are always agitated in marketing because this manipulation works and is very profitable. Unfortunately, they care little of the after-effects on people like yourself after a profit is made.
2) Fast as this weakens the body and subdues the desires in turn, if you cannot fast avoid eating meat and fats and try to eat less and eat bland food. Oil, fatty foods have the propensity to build and excess of hormones that make the desire strong in a person. So proper diet is essential to controlling desires.
3) Sedentary life or just a lazy life of almost no exercise also weakens the body and channels that energy towards one desires. You will find that if you train regularly, you will not feel these urges as strongly as you do.
4) Avoid being idle and alone. Sitting alone and scrolling through social media and watching video on the internet can almost certainly lead you to videos that are indecent that will catch your eyes. The sample applies to Music, especially music with women’s voice. This also includes certain computer games as well.
5) Be amongst friends who are Islamic and enjoin in good deeds. You will find that spending time with good brothers will draw your mind to more important things and your sense of shame and modesty will increase when you are amongst men.
6) Go and get a job so that you can be a provider which will eventually lead you to be in a better position to get married. At the same time, an addiction to porn, and strong desires that dehumanise women and sexualise them is a spiritual sickness and will not necessarily be solved by marriage but rather by better training of one’s nafs and one’s ideas, in this case, one’s perception of women.
7) Make dua to Allah Ta’ala to keep you steadfast and think of the reward Allah Ta’ala has for those who sacrifice for the sake of Allah Ta’ala.
Suicide is totally impermissible.
Only Allah knows best
Written by Maulana Moinul Abu Hamza
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham