Alhamdulillah, it is my pleasure to tell you that I am going to proceed a Sunnah, I am going to get married In-shaAllah, in October, but as I am not having much knowledge about these things which are mentioned below. Please let me know about these things:
(1) What does Islam say about haqq-e-mahr?
(2) How much haqq-e-mahr we can decide?
(3) When we can give the haqq-e-mahr (at time of nikah or should one state in the nikahnama that haqq-e-mahr should be paid if divorce occurs)?
(4) What is the way to deal with haqq-e-mahr Islam? Can it be given in installments?
(5) What are the regulations which a male has to perform on the wedding day and night? Are there some specifications?
As I am in China so mostly all the Islamic websites do not work here, please let me know where I can get all the information regarding nikah provide me with the source also.
(1) Mahr is the due right of the woman. Husband is asked to necessarily pay it. Almighty Allah says in the holy Quran:
أَن تَبْتَغُواْ بِأَمْوَالِكُم ……………… فَآتُوهُنَّ أُجُورَهُنَّ فَرِيضَةً [النساء : 24]
(2) The minimum quantity of mahr is ten Dirham or the value of (30.618 gram silver). Mahr is not valid less than it as per the Shariah. There is no limitation of maximum mahr. You can fix as much mahr as you want with the consent of girl and her guardians as per your capacity. Yes, it is not right as per the Shariah to fix more mahr only to boast and for show or with the intention of not paying it.
(3) If the mahr is mu’ajjal (immediately payable) then it is wajib to pay it before rukhsati. And if it has not been paid then she can delay rukhsati or refuse the husband to sleep with her. But if the mahr is muwajjal (deferred) then it shall be wajib to pay it at its appointed time. If no time was fixed then it shall be wajib to pay it in case of talaq at the time of talaq; otherwise at the time of death. The time of talaq can also be fixed as the time of payment.
(4) Yes, if it is fixed in installment or the woman is ready to receive it in installments then it shall be right to pay it in the same way.
(5) After marriage in privacy during first meeting it is sunnah to read the following dua holding the hair of woman’s forehead:
اللهم إني أسئلك من خيرها وخير ما جبلتها عليه وأعوذ بك من شرها وشرما جبلتها عليه.
The first meeting should be with good emotions and wishes. The husband should make her wife friendly with possible ways and should gain her heart so that she feels comfortable and relaxed. . And when the husband intends for intercourse then he should make her agree for this job and he should not separate himself from her until she is fully satisfied. The second day he should arrange walimah feast and should avoid the non-Shariah practices which are prevalent among people at such occasions.
Allah (Subhana Wa Ta’ala) knows Best
Darul Uloom Deoband