Salam. I hope you are in the best of health. My question is I receive benefits from the government. Child benefit disability allowance for child Carer allowance (wife receives this as she qualifies, not me) Tax credits. My wife and I quarrel regarding who is rightful of this money but she mostly wins because she says that she looks after the children all day, which she does. But I help also regularly. 1. Am I also rightful of some of this money or not. I have a full-time job and she is a housewife and carer of our daughter. 2. She has money in her pocket all the time and is buying too many suits and jewellery. Her wardrobe is full (I am not joking). And I tell her fear Allah. How can I keep her spending under control? JazakaAllah. Was-Salam.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Brother in Islam,
- Your question in references to allowances subsumes two types of benefits:
- Disability Living Allowance (DLA) for children;
- And Carer`s Allowance .
In reference to the Disability Living Allowance for children, the funds belongs to the child only and not the parents. However, the funds may be used by the father providing he appropriates and devotes them in the support and interest of the child only.
As for the Carer`s Allowance, the funds are given to help an individual who spends at least 35 hours in caring for someone with substantial caring needs and is not claiming any other benefits or earning exceeding £100 a week (after tax). As you have acknowledged, you are not eligible for Carer`s Allowance and as such you are unable to claim benefits. Therefore, you cannot claim to be rightful to this money. However, you wife is legally entitled to the allowance and thus the allowance is paid to her for her use. As such, she is the sole owner of the Carer`s Allowance. In principle, ownership of the allowance will be based on whom the government pay.
- From a principle point of view, a husband and wife are independent in their wealth and may spend their wealth according to their will. However, if the wife voluntarily contributes towards helping her husband and remunerating the home expenses, that will be a gesture of goodwill from her side.
- As for the issue of your wife overspending, our advice is you approach your wife with compassion and kindness and express to her your feelings.
You may also conduct daily Ta`leem of the books which discuss the narrations and the importance of observing abstinence from extravagance and giving preference to the eternal life of the Hereafter. In particular, the two books of Shaikh Muhammad Zakaria Kandhalvi, Fadha`il-e-Aa`mal and Fadha`il-e-Sadaqat, are remarkably proven to be effective in changing a person`s perception of life and in transforming practical lives.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Hanif Yusuf Patel
Student Darul Iftaa
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
 (وكذا) تجب (لولده الكبير العاجز عن الكسب)
(قوله لولده الكبير إلخ) فإذا طلب من القاضي أن يفرض له النفقة على أبيه أجابه ويدفعها إليه؛ لأن ذلك حقه وله ولاية الاستيفاء ذخيرة، وعليه فلو قال له الأب: أنا أطعمك ولا أدفع إليك لا يجاب، وكذا الحكم في نفقة كل محرم بحر
[Radd al-Muhtar ala ad-Durr al-Mukhtar, 3: 614, H. M. Saeed Company]
 الْهِبَةُ هِيَ تَمْلِيكُ مَالٍ لِآخَرَ بِلَا عِوَضٍ وَيُقَالُ لِفَاعِلِهِ: وَاهِبٌ , وَلِذَلِكَ الْمَالُ مَوْهُوبٌ وَلِمَنْ قَبِلَهُ مَوْهُوبٌ لَهُ وَالِاتِّهَابُ بِمَعْنَى قَبُولِ الْهِبَةِ أَيْضًا.
[Al-Majallah, p.161, Nur Muhammad]
 اعلم أن أسباب الملك ثلاثة: ناقل كبيع وهبة
[Radd al-Muhtar ala ad-Durr al-Mukhtar, 6: 463, H. M. Saeed Company]