How do I respond to my brother`s bad behaviour towards me?

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by

I am a female doctor, I live with my younger brother and sister. My father lives in another city with his 2nd wife. My mother died 3 years ago. My younger brother used to beat me whenever he got angry on simple home disputes. He use abusive language. He used to say to me you need a slap so that you may respect me. I told my father but he didn`t do anything. I want to know now how I will address this situation according to Shariah? I wanted to know my rights in Islam in this situation.


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In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Sister in Islam,

We realise your concern and distress. May Allah reward you for your patience and help your brother overcome the inner challenge he may be facing due to the demise of your mother and separation from your father. Ameen

We hope you understand your younger brother may be affected due to being separated from your parents. This sometimes has a very negative psychological and behavioural impact on certain individuals.

You are the most important and closest person to your brother since he has no other person to rely on. Also, it may be that he does not understand and realise his mistake and the consequence of his bad behaviour. He requires a motherly and fatherly figure to console him and talk to him with affection and due attention. You will be greatly awarded to show compassion to him and be a shoulder for him to pour his heart out to.

He may require some additional help to help him overcome his difficulty. You may seek some professional help for him or contact a local reliable scholar in your locality who he could confide in and overcome his weakness. It is important to identify the cause of his anger and help him overcome his weakness. If you desert him now, his condition could only deteriorate further.

Indeed, you as an elder sister, may try your utmost best to unite uterine relations and entertain hope of reward from Allah. Allah Ta`ala says:

وليعفوا وليصفحوا ألا تحبون أن يغفر الله لكم والله غفور رحيم

Translation: Let them forgive and overlook, do you not wish that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is All-Forgiving All-Merciful[1].

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) states:

صل من قطعك وأعط من حرمك واعف عمن ظلمك

Translation: Join ties with one who cuts you off, give to one who deprives you and forgive one who oppresses you[2].

Also, most important of all, invoke Allah and make Dua for your brothers guidance. Indeed, the Dua made at the last third of the night is accepted by Allah. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:

Verily, Allah descends to the nearest heaven in the last third of the night and proclaims: Who is supplicate me so that I may respond to him, who is asking from me so that I may grant him, who is asking for forgiveness from me so that I may forgive him[3].

Keep hope in Allah[4] and your efforts will be appreciated by Allah[5]. We hope and pray Allah helps you stay firm, assist him in overcoming his problems, and fosters a good relationship between the siblings. Ameen

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Hanif Yusuf Patel

Student Darul Iftaa

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

[1] [Al-Qur`an, 24: 22]

[2] [Musnad al-Imam Ahmad, 18032]

[3] عن أبي هريرة رضي الله عنه أن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال : { ينزل ربنا تبارك وتعالى إلى السماء الدنيا حين يبقى ثلث الليل الآخر ، فيقول : من يدعوني فأستجيب له ، من يسألني فأعطيه ، من يستغفرني فأغفر له

[Saheeh al-Bukhari, 1094; Saheeh Muslim, 1525]

[4] ولا تايئسوا من روح الله ، إنه لا يايئس من روح الله إلا القوم الكفرون

[Al-Qur`an, 12-87]

[5] إنه من يتق ويصبر فان الله لايضيع أجر المحسنين

[Al-Qur`an, 12: 90]