If I tell my wife it is her choice or the option to divorce but I told her on many occasions that I will not give you divorce due to Sharia law reasons. When things cooled down, I asked her that if she knew whether or not she can divorce herself and she said she does not know.
My question is when I told her it is her choice to seek divorce but at that time I myself was not aware that she can divorce herself but she can divorce it through court, so is this similar to giving her the authority to divorce herself because on many occasions she said “I do not want to live with you, I do not want to get set with you in this country, I want to go back home, I want a divorce, or I will forget about you” when given the option to divorce or to stay with me? I am worried that she intended divorce when stating these words when given the option but are the words proper even if she was given the authority to divorce herself?
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
According to Shari`a, the right of divorce is given only to the husband. The husband may give his wife restricted or unrestricted (Tafwid at-Talaq) right of divorce, both of which are governed by specific rules having different implications and the details of which are known to Ulema.
In the enquired case, the Talaq did not take place and the Nikah remains valid[1].
You should not be overwhelmed by the statements uttered by your wife but you should attempt to address the issue of her misery and distress. However, you should exercise ultimate caution in future in matters of issuing divorce or delegating the right to divorce to your wife.
Hanif Yusuf Patel
Student Darul Iftaa
UK
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
References
[1] (قال لها اختاري أو أمرك بيدك ينوي) تفويض (الطلاق) لأنها كناية فلا يعملان بلا نية (أو طلقي نفسك فلها أن تطلق في مجلس علمها به) مشافهة أو إخبارا (وإن طال) يوما أو أكثر ما لم يوقته ويمضي الوقت
قبل علمها (ما لم تقم) لتبدل مجلسها حقيقة (أو) حكما بأن (تعمل ما يقطعه) مما يدل على الإعراض لأنه تمليك فيتوقف على قبول في المجلس لا توكيل، فلم يصح رجوعه، حتى لو خيرها ثم حلف أن لا يطلقها فطلقت لم يحنث في الأصح (لا) تطلق (بعده) أي المجلس (إلا إذا زاد) في قوله طلقي نفسك
وأخواته (متى شئت أو متى ما شئت أو إذا شئت أو إذا ما شئت) فلا يتقيد بالمجلس (ولم يصح رجوعه) لما مر.
[Ad-Durr al-Mukhtar ma`a Radd al-Muhtar, 3: 315-7, H. M. Saeed Company]
وإذا قال لامرأته اختاري ينوي بذلك الطلاق أو قال لها طلقي نفسك فلها أن تطلق نفسها ما دامت في مجلسها ذلك فإن قامت منه أو أخذت في عمل آخر خرج الأمر
[Al-Hidayah fi Sharh Bidayat al-Mubtadi, 1: 236]
وإذا قال لامرأته : اختاري ينوي بذلك الطلاق أو قال لها : طلقي نفسك فلها أن تطلق نفسها ما دامت في مجلسها ذلك ، فإن قامت منه أو أخذت في عمل آخر خرج الأمر من يدها
[Fat`h al-Qadir, 8: 180]
أراد بنية الطلاق نية تفويضه وقيد بالمجلس لأنها لو قامت عنه أو أخذت في عمل آخر بطل
[Al-Bahr ar-Raa`iq, Sharh Kanz ad-Daqa`iq, wa Minhat al-Khaliq wa Takmilat at-Turi, 3: 336]