Here was my pervious question: http://www.askimam.org/public/question_detail/32049
I went ahead with the marriage, when my heart wasn’t into it and a lot of things happen. First, I tried to give this marriage a chance and trying to get know my husband and built trust before getting intimate right away but..
1.Mom threatens me (kick me out of the house) to consummate marriage when I felt uncomfortable and didn’t want to. She wanted to save face in front of his family.
2.He emotionally blackmails here and there to consummate the marriage.
3.He tells my mother everything, whenever she asked him if we consummated he says no, and then my mom emotionally blackmails me and hurts me.
4.I ended up in a psych ward because I felt trapped and really betrayed by everything.
They both knew I had my monthly cycle and I wasn’t ready. I told them it was in the quran that you shouldn’t force a woman or touch her when she’s in her monthly cycle but they didn’t seem to care.
My ‘husband’ knew about my traumatic childhood experience but forced kissed me and touched when I was sleeping…i cried in the bathroom because I felt violated and hurt. I really do not like him, and I feel like I can’t full fill my duty as a wife towards him. How can I love someone when I was forced into this? Forced marriage is against islam.
Everyday I come home – I feel sadness. I feel depressed and trapped in my own home.
I tried to give it a chance, but right now, I really can’t. I don’t find him sexually, emotionally and physically attractive. We also have culture differences and I just can’t make sacrifices for someone I don’t love.
My parents told me to accept it because allah made me get married for a reason, they said im acting out..but I am depressed and hurting inside. If everything happens for a reason..than why is there such thing as – forced marriages is against islam? Why can’t they see that?
My parents expect me to consummate in summer when i’m suppose to go visit him…I just want to run away. I know i won’t be able to full fill my duty as his wife, its not fair to me nor to him.
I don’t want this marriage. Never did. Isn’t this void?
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Sister in Islam,
We take note of your negative feelings in the marriage even after giving it a chance.
We advise you to seek the intervention of some senior person in the family and some senior ‘aalim in whom your parents have confidence and confide in them. Explain to them how you feel and the negative consequences of moving ahead. Request them to assist you to amicably terminate the marriage through a talaaq. Make them explain to your parents that the negative consequences of moving forward in the marriage are probably more than terminating the marriage and it is in their interest to be part of amicably resolving the problem.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Muhammad Haris Siddiqui
Student Darul Iftaa
Melbourne, Australia
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.