My parents want a working and non-religious spouse for me; what should I do?

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by


I am 28 years of age working as civil engineer in the state. My monthly salary is 32000,I intend to marry so do my family but the problem is that 

1. I intend to marry as per the shariah my family wants to follow the social culture 

2.I intend to marry a non working religious girl( as for my knowledge job of a girl is not permissible in this time o fitnah as in surah ahzab) but my parents want a job doing girl for me elder brother has a good job and His fiance is working my parents say to me it will create imbalance in the family if one goes out and other stays home.

Further there is no common ground between me and my family on most IG issues, they are Muslims but not practicing much. They don’t admire face veil, beard etc. They raise questions on my beard as well.what should I do in such a situation? I myself intend to be a committed Muslim.


In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Allah has granted you the tawfeeq to be a practicing Muslim and also guided you in seeking a religious minded wife. This is also in accordance with the following advice of Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam:

تُنْكَحُ الْمَرْأَةُ لِأَرْبَعٍ: لِمَالِهَا، وَلِحَسَبِهَا، وَلِجَمَالِهَا، وَلِدِينِهَا، فَاظْفَرْ بِذَاتِ الدِّينِ تَرِبَتْ يَدَاكَ

“Women are married for four things: their wealth, their status, their beauty and their religion. So choose the one who is religiously committed, may your hands be besmeared with dust.[1] 

It is clear from the above mentioned Hadith that Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam has stated that a person with a religious wife will be successful. If you compare a working wife with a housewife, the differences in the qualities of life are clear. A person with a housewife enjoys a better quality of life and she is also able to better fulfill her role as a wife and a mother of her children. This is not the case with a working woman.

Your parent’s and family’s attitude is due to them being ignorant of the beauty of Islam. We advise you pursue your choice with wisdom and diplomacy. Express more love and care for your parents and over time, they will realize the beauty of Islam and give in to your Islamic choice.[2]

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

AbdulMannan Nizami

Student Darul Iftaa
Chicago, IL, USA

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

[1] صحيح البخاري (7/ 7)

حَدَّثَنَا مُسَدَّدٌ، حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى، عَنْ عُبَيْدِ اللَّهِ، قَالَ: حَدَّثَنِي سَعِيدُ بْنُ أَبِي سَعِيدٍ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ: ” تُنْكَحُ المَرْأَةُ [ص:8] لِأَرْبَعٍ: لِمَالِهَا وَلِحَسَبِهَا وَجَمَالِهَا وَلِدِينِهَا، فَاظْفَرْ بِذَاتِ الدِّينِ، تَرِبَتْ يَدَاكَ “


صحيح مسلم (2/ 1086)

حَدَّثَنَا زُهَيْرُ بْنُ حَرْبٍ، وَمُحَمَّدُ بْنُ الْمُثَنَّى، وَعُبَيْدُ اللهِ بْنُ سَعِيدٍ، قَالُوا: حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى بْنُ سَعِيدٍ، عَنْ عُبَيْدِ اللهِ، أَخْبَرَنِي سَعِيدُ بْنُ أَبِي سَعِيدٍ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، قَالَ: ” تُنْكَحُ الْمَرْأَةُ لِأَرْبَعٍ: لِمَالِهَا، وَلِحَسَبِهَا، وَلِجَمَالِهَا، وَلِدِينِهَا، فَاظْفَرْ بِذَاتِ الدِّينِ تَرِبَتْ يَدَاكَ “

[2] وَإِنْ جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَى أَنْ تُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًا وَاتَّبِعْ سَبِيلَ مَنْ أَنَابَ إِلَيَّ ثُمَّ إِلَيَّ مَرْجِعُكُمْ فَأُنَبِّئُكُمْ بِمَا كُنْتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ

[سورة لقمان، الایة ۱۵]