Suffering from depression after losing everything

 I am in great depression. Few years ago I had a divorce. Which hurt me so much that life seems hell to me, I was married in my student life and when she left me i was still student, she is now married to someone else, as far I know she is happy and don’t care about me. I am still single, jobless, I still miss her and love her, and always thinking why this happened to me, and become super lazy.

I used to a good student now I am completely destroyed, my carrier destroyed, I don’t even pray salat and I am doing a lot of sin each and every moment in my life, I can’t help myself to stop doing wrong, I am always sad I tried to be a good muslim and a good man, I perform touba thousands of time and also break it thousands of time, when I perform touba and try to pray salat, it simply don’t last more than seven day, after a week I become the old me. Now I am loosing hope, I am loosing my both life, but I am so demoralize that I am unable to cope with, In morning I think I am going to start a new life, in the night I am thinking about committing suicide. For Allah’s sake please help me. At least it might save my after life.

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.  

As Muslims, we are required to believe that each and every event that takes place in our lives is from Allāh alone, whether it is good or otherwise as Allāh the Almighty is our Creator and He himself knows what is best for us. What occurred in the past was ultimately by the will of Allāh Ta`ālā. As His creation, we have no power to change the past. While you may have separated from your first wife and lost your job, it is very likely that Allāh Ta`ālā has planned something greater for you in the future. Instead of sulking in grief, you should accept the events of the past as the decree of Allāh the Almighty and stand back up on your two feet without letting the past take over your present.

Consider the following hadīth:

الْمُؤْمِنُ الْقَوِيُّ، خَيْرٌ وَأَحَبُّ إِلَى اللهِ مِنَ الْمُؤْمِنِ الضَّعِيفِ، وَفِي كُلٍّ خَيْرٌ احْرِصْ عَلَى مَا يَنْفَعُكَ، وَاسْتَعِنْ بِاللهِ وَلَا تَعْجَزْ، وَإِنْ أَصَابَكَ شَيْءٌ، فَلَا تَقُلْ لَوْ أَنِّي فَعَلْتُ كَانَ كَذَا وَكَذَا، وَلَكِنْ قُلْ قَدَرُ اللهِ وَمَا شَاءَ فَعَلَ، فَإِنَّ لَوْ تَفْتَحُ عَمَلَ الشَّيْطَانِ

A strong believer is better and is more lovable to Allah than a weak believer, and there is good in everyone, (but) cherish that which gives you benefit (in the Hereafter) and seek help from Allah and do not lose heart. And if anything (in the form of trouble) comes to you, don’t say: “If I had not done that, it would not have happened so and so”, but say: “(It is by) the decree of Allah and whatever he desires he does it. Because the word “if” opens the (gate) for the Shaytān.[1]

It is the quality of a true believer to stand firm in the face of all afflictions by exercising patience and placing his trust in Allāh the Almighty. If the world kicks him down he holds his head up high and continues to walk the path of Islam until he reaches his final abode in Jannah. It is reported on the authority of Abū Hurayrah (radiyallāhu `anh) that the Messenger of Allāh ﷺ said:

مَثَلُ المُؤْمِنِ كَمَثَلِ الخَامَةِ مِنَ الزَّرْعِ، مِنْ حَيْثُ أَتَتْهَا الرِّيحُ كَفَأَتْهَا، فَإِذَا اعْتَدَلَتْ تَكَفَّأُ بِالْبَلاَءِ، وَالفَاجِرُ كَالأَرْزَةِ، صَمَّاءَ مُعْتَدِلَةً، حَتَّى يَقْصِمَهَا اللَّهُ إِذَا شَاءَ

The example of a believer is that of a fresh tender plant; from whatever direction the wind comes, it bends it, but when the wind becomes quiet, it becomes straight again. Similarly, a believer is afflicted with calamities (but he remains patient till Allah removes his difficulties.) And an impious wicked person is like a pine tree which keeps hard and straight till Allah cuts (breaks) it down when He wishes.[2]

We advise you to reach out to your local Imam or someone you trust and explain to them how you feel. By keeping everything bottled up inside not only are you harming yourself psychologically, but such feelings are also distracting you from focusing on your Ākhirah. It is also advisable to seek professional help in diagnosing your depression as it may increase if not treated at an earlier stage.

All in all, the true weapon of a believer in times of difficulty is to engulf oneself in du`ā’ and place your trust in Allāh Ta`ālā that he will settle your affairs and grant you something better in the future.

وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُمْ بِشَيْءٍ مِنَ الْخَوْفِ وَالْجُوعِ وَنَقْصٍ مِنَ الْأَمْوَالِ وَالْأَنْفُسِ وَالثَّمَرَاتِ وَبَشِّرِ الصَّابِرِينَ، الَّذِينَ إِذَا أَصَابَتْهُمْ مُصِيبَةٌ قَالُوا إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ، أُولَئِكَ عَلَيْهِمْ صَلَوَاتٌ مِنْ رَبِّهِمْ وَرَحْمَةٌ وَأُولَئِكَ هُمُ الْمُهْتَدُونَ

Be sure we shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil), but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere. Who say, when afflicted with calamity: “To Allah We belong, and to Him is our return.” Such are they on whom are blessings from their Lord, and mercy. Such are the rightly guided. [Al-Baqarah: 155-157]

May Allāh Ta`āla grant you happiness in this life and the hereafter. Āmīn.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Bilal Mohammad

Student Darul Iftaa
New Jersey, USA

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

www.daruliftaa.net