I am enquiring about an incident that had took place a few years ago and is causing problems till now.
A girl that I know had fallen in love with a boy. They would see each other and exchange presents and messages for about 3 years. No sexual intercourse had taken place between them as girl said so and had a virginity test. Her family had found out but too scared to tell her father because of his angry character and fear of what he would do. Eventually a family came to tell father what is happening. He asked her to promise to not see him again but she wouldn’t. She then said they had done nikkah. This girl had gone to a different city with the boy and his male friend as a witness. They made nikkah without the knowledge of any of their families. Both the girls and boys family did not know about their nikkah. When both families fully found out about their relation out of fear the girl ran away to social services for a few days. They were madly in love. The boys father would not accept marriage because son was engaged to cousin from childhood. He is now married only very recently. The girl had moved on after the incident of social services and tried to change. It has been two years that she stopped seeing him as far as family is aware. But she still had feelings for him. She is looking to get married to someone now and is practicing. The father who would not let her marry for culture differences ( both bou and girl are muslims but from differnet countries) between families and for sake of his name cannot move on. He gives his wife, her mother a lot of trouble by always cursing her and daughter for that. He is worried about the nikkah. No sexual intercourse has taken place. No dowry was given as far as family is aware of. The only thing is that is worrying father is that the imaam in the other city had accepted their desire for nikkah and had done their nikkah. also the fact that one witness was there and the imaam as second witness. The male witness was not related to either girl or boy. The girls mahram father and brother and uncle is alive and she had done this with out any of their knowldege or permission.
Is this nikkah valid? What must the family do? Will she need a divorce for being able to marry to someone else? What shall I advice the father he is worried that their nikkah is valid.
Please make dua for her, she thinks she can’t find a decent man to marry for this reason although she had repented. Also her father cursed her to be unhappy all her life by wishing that Allah will grant her disabled children to make her suffer. What will happen to this dua of his? She is worried she ill have this.
Looking forward to your reply, please reply as soon as possible. Her mother is being hurt by what father is saying as she is constantly being blamed for daughters actions.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Since a proposal and acceptance took place in the presence of two adult male witnesses (the Imam along with the male friend), the Nikāh between the boy and girl is valid.[1] The couple will be legally married and any subsequent contact will be permissible. A mature girl does not require the approval of her wali to get married.[2] Additionally, it will be necessary for the husband to issue a divorce and the wife to undergo her waiting period (iddah) if the couples desire to terminate the Nikāh.
We advise you to persuade the father into thinking things over. Convince him into forgiving the daughter as she has finally come to her senses and has also repented. She also desires to be a practicing Muslim from hereon. Every person makes mistakes in their lives. We have not been created as angels; rather, as humans whose quality is to forget. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam mentioned:
كُلُّ بَنِي آدَمَ خَطَّاءٌ، وَخَيْرُ الْخَطَّائِينَ التَّوَّابُونَ
“All the sons of Adam are sinners, but the best of sinners are those who repent often.”[3]
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
AbdulMannan Nizami
Student Darul Iftaa
Chicago, IL, USA
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
www.daruliftaa.net
[1] النكاح ينعقد بالايجاب والقبول…ولاينعقد نكاح المسلمين الا بحضور شاهدين
[اللباب في شرح الكتاب، ص٤١٠، بشار بكري]
[2] و ينعقد نكاح المراة الحرة البالغة العاقلة برضاها فقط سواء باشرته بنفسها أو وكلت غيرها و أن لم يعقد عليها ولى و لم ياذن به
[اللباب في شرح الكتاب، ص٤١٤، بشار بكري]
عَنْ عَبْدِ اللهِ بْنِ الزُّبَيْرِ، أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ: ” أَعْلِنُوا النِّكَاحَ
مسند أحمد, ج.٢٦, ص.٥٣, مؤسسة الرسالة
[3] [سنن ابن ماجه، كتاب الزهد، باب ذكر التوبة، ج٢، ص١٤٢٠، دار احياء الكتب العربية]