I made my mother cry and swore upon the Qur’an; what should I do?

I had an intense argument with my mother to the point were she started crying. In the heat of the moment, I picked up Quran and told my mom that I didn’t mean to hurt her. Now, I regret my act of bringing Quran during the argument. Is there any sin for this? How do I ask for sincere forgiveness from Allah(swt)?

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

You inquire about using the Quran to convince your mother and you also inquire whether the use of the Quran for this purpose is a sin. The actual issue to inquire about is your conduct and attitude towards your mother. Allah Ta’ala mentions in the Qur’an:

وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنْسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَى وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ

“And we have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years – give thanks to Me and to your parents. Unto Me is the final destination.”^[1] 

It is also mentioned in a Hadith:

قَالَ رَجُلٌ: يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ مَنْ أَحَقُّ النَّاسِ بِحُسْنِ الصُّحْبَةِ؟ قَالَ: «أُمُّكَ، ثُمَّ أُمُّكَ، ثُمَّ أُمُّكَ، ثُمَّ أَبُوكَ، ثُمَّ أَدْنَاكَ أَدْنَاكَ»

A person said, “Allah’s Messenger, who amongst the people is most deserving of my good treatment? He said: Your mother, again your mother, again your mother, then your father, then your nearest relatives according to the order (of nearness)”.^[2]

It is clear from the above mentioned statements that a mother deserves great respect. The mother undergoes great hardships to nurture the child. When the child is incapable of doing anything, the mother is there to look after him. She spends restless nights to look after her child. Every time the child asks for something, the mother is there to comfort the child. The mother does so much for her child but unfortunately, when the child is grown up, he has the audacity to bad-mouth his mother. All of the mother’s sacrifices are taken for granted and long forgotten.

The child must be aware of the etiquettes when dealing with parents. Islam prohibits even the slightest bit of disrespect towards the parents. It is incumbent upon us to endure any exercise restraint when dealing with parents. Our only concern should be to become the coolness of their eyes and see the happiness on their faces. Allah Ta’ala mentioned in the Qur’an:

وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُلْ رَبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا

And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, “My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.^[3]

وَالَّذِينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا

And those who say, “Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.^[4]

The Qur’an is not a tool to use when taking an oath upon something. You must seek forgiveness from your mother and then make sincere tawba to Allah with full regret and the intention of not committing such a mistake ever again in the future.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

AbdulMannan Nizami

Student Darul Iftaa
Chicago, IL, USA

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

www.daruliftaa.net