I am now looking brides for marriage. In my teen age, i was having an affair with a girl. Whether should I inform about my past relation to the looking bride before my marriage or not?
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
At the outset, any sin committed by a person should not make one despondent of the mercy of Allah. In fact Allah Ta’ala mentions:
قُلْ يَا عِبَادِيَ الَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا عَلَى أَنْفُسِهِمْ لَا تَقْنَطُوا مِنْ رَحْمَةِ اللَّهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ
Say (to my servants Oh Rasulullah), do not be despondent of the mercy of Allah over that which you have transgressed. Verily, Allah is the forgiver of all sins. He is the Most Forgiving, Most Merciful. (39-53)
If a person was involved in a sin and repents sincerely to Allah Ta’ala, Allah Ta’ala will readily accept a person’s repentance. Also, if Allah Ta’ala has concealed ones sins, one should not expose ones sins to others as Allah Ta’ala has concealed it.
Moreover, it is the nature of human beings to commit sins. In fact Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said:
وَالَّذِي نَفْسِي بِيَدِهِ لَوْ لَمْ تُذْنِبُوا لَذَهَبَ اللهُ بِكُمْ، وَلَجَاءَ بِقَوْمٍ يُذْنِبُونَ، فَيَسْتَغْفِرُونَ اللهَ فَيَغْفِرُ لَهُمْ
By that being (Allah) in who’s hand my life lies in, If you do not commit sins then Allah will destroy you and will create a nation who sin, who then asks of Allahs forgiveness and Allah will forgive them ( Sahih Muslim, Vol. 4, Pg. 2106)
Naturally, every person is a sinner. It is only that some people’s sins are known to others whilst other people’s sins are not known to others.
As such, if every person had to consider his/her sins in order to get married, there would be no one married in this world today. More so, at the time of marriage, spouses consider the future and not the past. They work together in improving each another rather than ridiculing each another or their past lives. In this way, a strong bond and relationship is created between spouses. This protects the marriage of spouses from any negative influence or mischief.
Therefore, do not be despondent in finding a suitable partner in marriage. Do not be reluctant in making a decision of marriage because of the past. Ignore the past and focus on the future of life and what it has to offer. Adopt a positive approach and embrace the challenges of life. We make dua Allah grant you a suitable and compatible spouse. Ameen.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Student Darul Iftaa
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.