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Boys parents say im too ‘modern’ for him

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Askimam.org

I wrote about how his parents arent accepting me – they also said we just aren’t compatible and that im ‘too modern’ for him. When I cover up I wear a scarf I mostly wear a jubbah. His other sisters wear parda but one doesn’t even wear a scarf. As a wife I want to be a housewife I am very old fashioned I don’t agree with working whilst marriage. I would only be attentive to my husband and children. I’d most Definately cover and always wear jubbah and also one day iA when married wear parda that’s always been my intention. How can they label me as modern? Just because I pay attention to the way I look? Please help.. JazakAllah.

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

The simple solution to this problem is that you start implementing “parda” from now. Firstly, it is the command of Allah for married and non-married women. Secondly, any descent and modest family will look for a girl who is implementing parda. What guarantee do they have of your future intentions and plans?

Your mind-set of being a house wife is correct and commendable. This will bring peace in your life and be a means of a healthy family relationship.

Once again, do not look at others to appease your own conscious. Someone else’s mistake does not justify your wrong. You may advise the boy’s sister to wear a scarf with kindness and wisdom.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Hisham Dawood

Student Darul Iftaa
Chicago, USA 

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

This answer was collected from Askimam.org, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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