My age is 27,unmarried.3 years ago I quit watching porn after giving a chillah in tablig jamat.but few months ago in my friend pc I watched it because no one in his room in that time also I did masturbation. After that I did tawbah and cried to ALLAH.but after that in a duration of every 10-15 days I am getting crazy to watch it and by any means I am doing it and every time after doing it I doing tawbah and crying.for last 5 months it is happening to me. Why its happening to me?i am feeling like it would be better to die rather doing it.why I cant control myself.for 3 years I even did not think about it but now regurarly I am doing it.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
It is commendable to note that you have the concern on stopping this unfortunate habit. This is the first step towards reformation from such a sin. May Allah Ta’ala make it easy for you to free yourself from this habit.
Pornography and masturbation are evil and despicable sins which ruin the life of an individual. One is deprived of the sweetness of imaan. One’s heart and soul becomes dull and develops an aversion towards ‘ibaadah and closeness to Allah Ta’ala.
Allah Ta’ala says:
إِنَّ النَّفْسَ لَأَمَّارَةٌ بِالسُّوءِ
Translation: Verily the nafs incites towards evil. (12:53)
The example of the nafs is like a small child; it always demands to get what it wants. The parents of the child know what is beneficial for the child and what is not. They do not accede to everything the child wants even if the child screams or cries. Rather, they take measures to discipline the child. They refine him into a respectable person having good qualities. Similarly, we need to refine our nafs and not allow it everything it wants.
Keep in mind that even if no human eye is watching us, the ever watchful Allah Ta’ala knows the innermost regions of our heart. One should have the fear that on the Day of Judgement, no actions shall go unaccounted for and that even one’s own eyes will bear witness against him on the Day of Judgement.
Brother in Islam, you are 27 years old and in the ages of adulthood which generally in these years one focuses on getting married. You should approach your parents in finding you a suitable spouse and get married as marriage is a means of safeguarding one’s chastity and imaan.
The negative consequences of pornography are too many to mention. In brief, it robs one of true human values and spirituality. The real life and essence of imaan is lost. If a person is sincere in making tawbah from this evil act, he can be rehabilitated according to his level of sincerity.
Hereunder are a few prescriptions which may help you overcome your problem:
- Stay away from all such avenues that spurs ones carnal desires.
- Protect yourself from the evil glances upon non-mahram women.
- You should not access the internet unless there is a genuine need for it. If you access immoral websites, you are bound to fall into sins. Try to keep your computer or any other such devices in a place where everyone can see what you are doing. Switch off the devices when you have the urge to commit sins.
- Do not to remain alone or idle. An idle mind is a devils workshop.
- Frequent the Masajid and the company of pious people. Identify a spiritual guide and benefit from his spirituality. Be punctual in the five a’amaal that is prescribed from the elders of tableegh and if possible, be punctual in attending the Thursday night shabguzari in Kakrail Markaz.
- A practical thing one can do to stop this habit and any other bad habit is that one may make a promise to Allah Ta’ala that one will not commit the sin, and for each time the sin is committed, he/she will give a certain amount of money in charity or to the local Masjid. However, the amount should be realistic and reasonable.
- Continuously make dua and tawbah to Allah Ta’ala to help you abstain from such sins. If your tawbah is sincere, Allah Ta’ala will grant you the ability to refrain from sins. Always keep trying. Never give way to the subtle whisperings of shaytaan. At first, refraining from sins might be extremely difficult but after constant struggle and punishing of the nafs, the nafs will finally become tamed and you will feel pleasure in refraining from sins. Allah Ta’ala will indeed help the person who strives to become closer to Him.
InshAllah, by practicing the above mentioned prescriptions, one will be able to stop from such habits.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Fahad Abdul Wahab
Student Darul Iftaa
USA
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai