I have a question regarding istikhara. I have been speaking to a brother for the purpose of marriage for a year now who lives overseas. During this time we have both felt things have been going well we have similar interests, our goals match up etc Also in terms of deen I feel pleased with his character and his commitment to it.
We both have prayed istikhara a few months back and felt positive with everything however he planned to come so we could meet and work out if we would go ahead with Nikah however his business has slowed down, he got robbed, various expenses have popped up here and there which has delayed him coming to meet me.Should we take these events as an answer and go our separate ways? Also within this time I have had another brother from my community show interest who is also firm on deen but I am unsure about what to do in light of this current situation.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Sister in Islam,
It is encouraging to note your zeal for marrying someone who excels in deen, and your turning to Allah by means of iskikhārah for guidance.
As you are aware, marriage is a major step in life. It is not an individual step, but a bond between families. The consent and involvement of both the families cannot be neglected. As such, we urge you to consult and discuss with your parents or senior members of your family in regards to your potential spouse. Any further discussion with the potential person should be carried out by a male representative from your family, as it is prohibited to speak to a non-mahram.
Istikhārah means: to seek goodness. When one makes the du‘ā of istikhārah, he is simply asking Allah Ta‘ālā to grant blessings in the decision that is made. If there is any inclination towards the decision which is not in the best interest of the mustakīr (one making istikhārah), Allah Ta‘ālā will turn the person’s heart away from it.[1] In reference to the question, there is no need for you to consider the events as an indication towards either or. If your heart is content with marrying the man in reference, you may move forward under the consultation and guidance of your family.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Hisham Dawood
Student Darul Iftaa
Chicago, USA
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.