I have been married for few years. From the very beginning I have had 2 wishes, firstly is that my wife and I have Children and secondly that my wife starts to wear the niqab. I have been making duaa to Allah every day for these 2 things but so far none of these have happened. I have been telling my wife every day to wear the niqab but she doesn’t, please advise me on what to do because I am becoming so depressed and I wish she would just do it. Also what advises can you give for couples who are finding it hard to have children??
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Brother in Islam,
As Muslims, it is our belief that Allah Ta‘ālā has complete control over the universe. Every affair in this world is subject to His will and power. As such, bestowing children is also subject to His command and is His sole right. Allah Ta’āla blesses some with children, and others are left free of the responsibility of upbringing children. Consider the following verse:
{لِلَّهِ مُلْكُ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ يَخْلُقُ مَا يَشَاءُ يَهَبُ لِمَنْ يَشَاءُ إِنَاثًا وَيَهَبُ لِمَنْ يَشَاءُ الذُّكُورَ (49) أَوْ يُزَوِّجُهُمْ ذُكْرَانًا وَإِنَاثًا وَيَجْعَلُ مَنْ يَشَاءُ عَقِيمًا إِنَّهُ عَلِيمٌ قَدِيرٌ } [الشورى: 49، 50]
“To Allah belongs the kingdom of the heavens and the earth; He creates what he wills. He bestows to whom He wills female [children], and He bestows to whom He wills males. Or He bestows them [both] males and females, and He renders whom He wills barren. Indeed, He is All Knowing and All Capable.”
It is important that we accept and remain content with the decree of Allah Ta’āla. The very core and foundation of our īmān that we place our trust in the infinite wisdom of Allah Ta’āla, and not to become despondent of His mercy.
As mentioned above, everything in the universe is in the control of Allah Ta’āla and only through His might, power, and will can anything take place. Once this realization enters the heart, then the du‘ā will have a new meaning to it.
Furthermore, you should remember that many other couples are undergoing the same difficulty. This is a condition directly from Allah and the solution lies in supplicating to Allah. Consider the two illustrious Nabis, Hadhrat Ibrahim (Alaihi as-Salaam) and Zakariya (Alaihi as-Salaam), who were both faced with the same situation. They desired children but their wives were barren. They made du‘ā against all odds, and Allah accepted their du‘ā and granted them children who were also made prophets.
We advise you to make the following Dua as much as possible.
{رَبِّ هَبْ لِي مِنْ لَدُنْكَ ذُرِّيَّةً طَيِّبَةً إِنَّكَ سَمِيعُ الدُّعَاءِ} [آل عمران: 38]
“My lord, grant me pure (pious) children from yourself (by your grace). Indeed, You are the Hearer of all prayers.”[1]
As far as the issue of niqāb, you should continue encouraging your wife to observe the niqāb. However, it is critical that your encouragement does not turn into an exercise of continuous nagging, as she may start resenting the niqāb due to your attitude. Therefore, it is necessary that you learn practically how to encourage someone towards adopting a life in accordance to the Shariah. Looking for the appropriate moment, saying the right words, tone of speech, mentioning relevant ahadith, etc. are all important aspects to consider when calling towards a good deed. Also bear in mind that your marriage is still young and both of you still have to develop in the marriage. Make your wife’s heart fertile enough to accept your advice and wishes. Remember, it takes time for a seed to grow, though the land may be fertile.
More importantly, the art of giving good advice has to be learnt, just like any other art. The ummah is truly blessed in this era to have the noble effort of da‘wah and tablīgh (tablīghī jamāt). Those who are fortunate to spend some time in this effort learn from the guidance of senior ‘ulamā’ and those experienced in the field to call towards the greatness of Allah, the Sunnah, and the lofty teachings of Islam in general. We advise you to take part in this work for your own benefit, the benefit of your family, and the benefit of others. Also, as an immediate step to implement Islamic teachings in your home, read on the lives of the sahābah/sahābiyyāt and our pious predecessors. Hayātus Sahābah (translated in English) by Mawlana Yusuf Kandhlawi is an excellent book in this regard.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Hisham Dawood
Student Darul Iftaa
Chicago, USA
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
This is the supplication of the great Nabi, Hadhrat Zakariya (Alaihi As-salaam). As mentioned previously, he and his wife greatly desired a child. However, his wife was barren. After making the above Dua, Allah Ta’āla accepted his supplication and blessed his barren wife with a pious son, who was also a Nabi (Yahya Alaihi As-salaam).